Roasts and Toasts Day 4: Sucreabeille presents Cup of Ambition vs Cup of Desperation

After the breather provided by the third leg of my strange journey I was refreshed and, hopefully, ready for whatever challenge awaited me next.

The next portion of the journey, in terms of travel, was positively mundane. I merely had to wander through a series of back rooms that must comprise the warehouse of this lab. Mind you, their relative sizes and positionings were, of course, seemingly making use of non-Euclidean geometry to achieve the pathway they formed. But other than that… they were warehouses of all the sundry items needed to manufacture perfume and bath products.

Then I opened a door and was in… a diner. It looked timeless in construction - it could have been built any time between the 1940s and the present.  Two of the walls were lined with huge windows that gazed out into a dark countryside that was featureless apart from a straight stretch of highway, dim fields, power lines, and a sky alive with stars.

Behind the counter of this diner was Andrea of Sucreabeille. She wore a simple blue sleeveless dress that made one think it would be accompanied by pearls (she wore, however, no pearls). She smiled at me and bade me to sit down. I obliged and took a seat on one of the bar stools at the counter.

“I wanted to thank you for doing this,” she said.

“Don’t mention it,” I replied with a smile, “ It’s been all the adventure promised and more .”

“It’s been an adventure for us too, believe it or not,” she said, “I’m so pleased with the audacious bravery of everyone involved. Bad reviews are scary for us, you know? To us, you’re the lion we’re taming.”

I guffawed but she merely nodded.

“No! Really. For us this hasn’t just been about a bit of perfumer’s revenge (though I won’t lie - getting to be a bit evil is good for the constitution). It’s been about turning a weakness into a strength - after all, after you’ve gotten the worst review of your life all the others are going to seem pretty mild won’t they?”

I contemplated what she said. Yes, there was adventure in it for all parties involved. Both because, really, we were all here on this island that I was beginning to suspect had a high chance of turning out to be a Lovecraftian horror and because we were facing down the most terrifying beast of all: potentially awkward social interactions and hurt feelings.

“I can see in your eyes - you’re getting it,” she said, “ Which I suppose means we’re here at my turn.”

At this point she reached beneath the counter and produced two vials of perfume…
Below, reader, are my notes on these two scents:

The Toast

Cup of Ambition

In the bottle: I recall this has three coffees in it. With this knowledge I can kinda pick them out. One is a black, bitter, diner coffee. The kind of serious, no-nonsense coffee that you reach for at 6 A.M. (and then reach for the generous cream and sugar because that stuff packs a wallop). The second coffee is a chocolate-y mocha - rich and a little soft. One you order on cold days. The third coffee is one with a glassy edge and a kick to it that reminds me a little of the smell of gasoline - a sharp espresso. At the edges of the scent you get a sweet, creamy vanilla-like flavor. I think this is supposed to have toasted marshmallow in it? In the bottle it’s all vanilla-y.

Wet on my skin: That sharp coffee comes to the forefront and the creamy smell intensifies. This really does smell like coffee with cream and sugar in it. That sharp edge is there to wake you up - it’s like a cross between coffee, smoke, and gasoline. Under the sharp coffee is that smooth mocha and at the base is the ultra dark coffee. 

I don’t get much in the way of marshmallow that smells like… marshmallows. However, I’m sure the marshmallow note is where that creamy sweetness is coming from.

Drydown: As this dries down this scent moves from sharp to much more blended and mellow. The three coffees harmonize and the overall scent effect is that of a comforting diner. A ‘Tom’s Diner’ diner. There still is a little bit of a smokey sharp edge from that one coffee, but, it’s much reduced from where it was wet - just enough there to keep stuff interesting. I’d say of the three coffees the mocha dominates at this point.

That creamy, soft scent remains. You know what? It reminds me of tonka. It’s like a combination of a tonka and a marshmallow.

After 30 mins: About like it was during the drydown - the smell that reminds me of tonka is coming through more strongly but otherwise about the same.

Official Notes: Toasted marshmallow, three kinds of coffee, dark chocolate

I recalled most of these notes - but not the dark chocolate! I read it mostly as a mocha. Could this have… both mocha and dark chocolate? Is the dark chocolate adding that creamy sweetness that smells like tonka to me? Who knows! 

Mostly this scent is what is says on the tin - but with a little bit of unexpected smokiness/sharpness at the edges making it interesting. The marshmallow is a little less prominent than expected, and the chocolate blends with the coffee. This pretty much smells like a gloriously complexly-coffee-smelling coffee (reminds me of Starbucks) with a good dose of cream and sugar.

Final Opinion: Coffee lovers looking for a pure coffee experience with a bit of sweetness and an interesting edge… rejoice! This one is totally worth trying. Personally? I found this scent to be really comforting and reminiscent of safe, quiet coffee-smelling places... while at the same time maintaining a bit of an edge and complexity.

The Roast 

Cup of Desperation

In the bottle: This smells… strangely wearable? 

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not “normal” perfume. There’s a rolling cloud of whiskey, chocolate, and dark, dark coffee that comes out of this. There’s edges of gasoline. It’s much deeper than its companion scent.

It quite honestly smells like a truck stop you’ve pulled into at 4 A. M. because you must, must have coffee. Why does that truck stop smell like whiskey? Is that a question you want an answer to?

But in that same way this scent is so familiar it loops back around into the realm of ‘oddly comforting’. Like yes, it’s 4 A. M. middle-of-no-where gas station coffee… but who has not had that cup of coffee? For whom has that cup of coffee not been the best cup of coffee in the whole world when you get it?

Wet on my skin: Oh, that gasoline is coming through more - but this whole thing is blending really well in a curious way.  The atmospheric gasoline smooths and mellows the kind of espresso ‘bite’ of one of the coffees. The whiskey makes the chocolate in the mocha-coffee really glow with the whiskey itself playing a mildly boozy second fiddle to that gasoline. 

What’s really odd is the toasted marshmallow is really coming out in this. It’s creamy, it’s luscious. It smells like coffee that’s been drenched in as much hazelnut creamer as you can fit in the cup.

Maybe this Cup of Desperation smells less like a 4 A. M. truck stop, and more like you at 4:45 A.M. finally, red eyed, pulling into your destination surrounded by a haze of gasoline smell from your 14 hour drive and the gasoline you spilled on your shoes around an hour ago. You stagger inside and brew a cup of instant coffee, put in as much whiskey as you think you can get away with, and then top it off with hazelnut creamer to the brim.

Drydown: It’s still hard to describe this one. Like, coffee is a food smell, right? But it’s also an atmospheric. In Cup of Ambition the coffee is firmly gourmand with a bit of comforting-diner nostalgia. In Cup of Desperation we’ve moved over to a firmly atmospheric coffee. This smells more like a place that has coffee in it - perhaps even with a cup near you - than coffee itself, if that makes sense.

Topnotes of slightly chemical but strangely mellow gasoline and espresso. Midnotes of chocolate, mild coffee, and toasted-marshmallow-that-smelled-like-hazelnut-creamer. Base notes of whiskey and dark-as-night black coffee.

It’s Cup of Ambition but darker, edgier, and in a leather studded jacket. Cup of Ambition was sweet with an interesting edge - this is all edge with a bit of interesting sweet. It’s funny how the two scents reflect one another like that.

After 30 mins: As this wears a touch of grodiness does come out. But it’s kind of… nice grodiness?  It makes me feel like a post-apocolyptic biker chick from a Mad Max movie who’s gotta have her cuppa. I can see this not being for everyone - it’s chemical, it’s harsh, it’s bitter and kind of dirty feeling… but it’s all contrasted with that sweetness of the scent. 

I think what’s adding the dirty feeling is the chocolate having its earthy qualities brought out.

Aside from that kind of maturation the scent is very stable and wears super strong with a very solid throw on it.

Official Notes: The same coffee from Cup of Ambition drenched in gasoline and whiskey.

Yup, it’s all there folks! What is says on the tin. 

Final Opinion: I actually like this one better than the Toast (whoops). Uh… I guess I could roast Andrea for that? I came here for Stinks with a capital S! I expected bogs and swamps! I expected road-kill! I expected a prohibition-officer-in-the-20s-breaking-up-a-modern-frat-party levels of booze! And what did I get? An atmospheric I actually like! That will probably have a committed fan-base if it goes live! 

You did a bad job at doing a bad job - which… loops around to a good job? Because I do like this? I’m confusing myself at this point.

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You can find Andrea and her creations (all done for the forces of good) here at Sucreabeille. [ link! ]

You can find a sample pack containing samples of all five of the "Toast" scents in the Sucreabeille Indie Marketplace at this [ link right here ].

You can find single sample sizes and full sizes of Cup of Ambition here [ at this link ].

Roasts and Toasts Day 3: B. Perry Studios presents A Snoball's Chance (In Hell) vs. The Devil's Lettuce

Having learned my lesson from the second encounter in my gentlefolk’s challenge I embarked upon the third leg in this journey. The travel between rooms this time at first looked more uneventful: I stepped into a hallway that seemed quite ordinary apart from the fact that it curved just enough that I couldn’t make out the end. After five minutes of attempting to reach the end of this hallway, it became apparent that I was walking in what logic told me had to be a spiral.

The map was not helpful. I appeared to be walking in a section of it where someone had spilled their morning coffee. In the margins they’d written a helpful ‘go straight!’ with a small arrow pointing at the coffee stain.

I went on for some time. The hallway sometimes had an upward incline, sometimes a downward incline. It was featureless except for its lime green shag carpeting and seemingly infinite stream of framed photographs on the walls.

The photographs were in black and white and featured what appeared to be completely unique cats. Each cat sat looking quite solemn and wearing a cat-sized bow tie. Below each photograph was a small placard reading: “Exitus Acta Probat”.

The door came upon me so abruptly I walked into it. I carefully opened it. On the other side was a long dining room brightly lit by high, narrow windows.  Dominating the room was an equally long and narrow table laid out with a white dining cloth. Atop the table were chocolate cakes of every size and shape. In between them, artfully arranged, were decorative bits of greenery heavily featuring a familiar five-leafed plant.

Arranging some of these plants was Brooke of B. Perry Studios wearing a long red satin ballgown with matching elbow length gloves. She looked up as I walked in, smiled, and waved.

‘“Ah! My turn!” she exclaimed and hurried to a sideboard to fetch her two vials.

“I  know this ah, was supposed to be a challenge to disgust you. But I figured at the halfway point you might like something of a break” she said.

I nodded cautiously.

“The reality is I wanted to do a ‘baked’ scent for you. The most delicious chocolate cake for your toast and for your roast,” here she conspiratorially leaned forward, “ that same cake but laced with the scent of you know… Mary Jane. Wacky Tabacky. Sticky Icky. … The Devil’s Lettuce.”

“My ‘lettuce’ note has aged so wonderfully though! As I blended the scent just intrigued me more and before you know it, it was time for the Sucreabeille zeppelin to pick me up… You know how it is.”

“Well, I mean, I took an airplane,” I volunteered.

“Oh, yes, of course. The Pilot can be kind of jumpy around new people and you don’t want your zeppelin pilot to be jumpy,” she said thoughtfully, “In between runs they do get a tune-up in the clockwork workshop if you wanted to introduce yourself.”

“Anyway! Your scents!” she exclaimed, handing me the delicate silver tray upon which the two vials rested.

Below, constant reader, is my notes on the scents...

The Toast

A Snoball's Chance (In Hell)

In the bottle: Very, very mild - basically a little chocolate and a whiff of coconut. I know from trying this before that on skin it completely changes however.

Wet on my skin: Two words: Brownie. Batter. Brownie batter, coconut, and buttercream icing. Many batter/cake/dough accords don’t capture what makes baked good smell so appealing - sometimes they end up smelling more like a heliotrope centered scent than a gourmand… but this one gets it y’all. The chocolate is rich and a little smokey - slashed through with buttery, sugary notes. This is, to my nose, literally like picking up a bowl of brownie batter and sniffing it wreathed in almost floral coconut. There’s something kind of light in here that reminds me slightly of mint minus the sharpness - it’s hard to place. Like a bit of something herbal or floral off to the side from your luscious coconut and b r o w n i e batter. This one also, at least wet, has great throw… and if anything smells better in the throw than it does up close.

Drydown: A lot like it was wet. Still full of luscious, almost toasted chocolate and that complex quasi-floral coconut. That smell that kinda-reminds-me-of-mint (but it’s definitely not mint) is stronger and more smells that remind me of buttercream are coming forward. It smells now like that brownie batter’s been baked and is getting slathered with buttercream with a kind of cool tanginess to it and you’re getting ready to coat the top in coconut.

After 30 mins: Essentially identical to the dry down. Very, very stable scent.  Fairly good throw throughout too. The scent cloud starts a good 6-8 inches from where I applied it and I’ve been catching whiffs of it throughout.

Official Notes: Devil’s food cake piped with cream cheese icing, wrapped in homemade raspberry marshmallow then tossed in coconut
RASPBERRY that cool, tangy scent that kind of reminded me of mint is raspberry. I can totally see it now that it’s in front of me. Think of an almost herbal raspberry that’s cool and tangy and raspberry that’s the one used here. It’s not strongly fruity - just a tiny neuance to help make the scent interesting.
The devil’s food cake is the brownie batter scent. The cream cheese icing is the buttercream - which, with the words in front of me I can see. The marshmallow blends with the core of the scent, adding body and fullness to it. It reminds me a lot of a kind of tonka-creamyness. And of course, coconut is that glorious, complex almost floral coconut.

Final Opinion: I’m shocked I like a straight gourmand this much. Brooke is a mad genius. Every note here is rich, realistic, and very sweet without going into Smells Like a Donut Shop levels of sugar. The coconut and the raspberry here add a lot of complexity to the scent while the chocolate cake accord is shockingly realistic. Delicious.

The Roast

The Devil's Lettuce

In the bottle: Sweet chocolate and coconut with a bit of resinous/patchouli edge to it wreathed with a subtle whisper of smoke. I think there’s a tiny bit of green in here that’s quite honestly blending with the coconut. Very much like its companion scent but ‘edgier’. Like, ASC(IH) is this sent on the weekdays - but on the weekends it likes to kick back a bit, you know?

Wet on my skin: Oh wow, definitely more of that patchouli smell and more smoke - the smoke smells almost like incense. Just a kiss of that herbal green (an ultra smooth, non-skunky marijuana) melding with the coconut and raspberry-marshmallow. While the first scent is a very dignified, rich cake this one is absolutely several degrees more hippy. If the first scent is a decadent brownie-batter scented cake at a fancy party… this is that same cake being sold by the slice at an outdoor music festival by someone who just gave their name as ‘Moonbeam’. 

It smells happy, chill, and slightly outdoorsy in a spicy-green-herbal way. 

Drydown: The way this is blending the cake is a lot subtler.

So at the top I get spicy incense and spicy marijuana. Below that is COCONUT a lot of coconut. A big, sticky-sweet pile of coconut. Below that is the marshmallow with just like… a hint of raspberry I can barely make out. Then some chocolate that blends with an earthy patchouli. 

While ASC(IH) is a straight gourmand where you can revel in every part of the gourmand this is a resinous-herbal scent with gourmand nuances. Which, nothing wrong with that. I’m just surprised by how differently the two scents wear: For example the marshmallow sweetness in this, when it blends with the marijuana, almost reminds me of maple syrup! 

After 30 mins: Stable to the drydown. Maybe able to pick out a tiny bit more fruitiness from the raspberry.

Official Notes: A Snoball's Chance In Hell, reeking of patchouli oil, burning incense, and marijuana smoke

Yup. That about covers it. I wouldn’t say it’s reeking - but those are prominent notes in there!  It is pretty much what it says on the tin - though I would say that the way the patchouli and marijuana blend with the other scents in the perfume changes its character pretty distinctly. This is resinous, spicy, and slightly outdoorsy with a sweet-gourmand undercurrent.

Wears strong with very, very solid throw. 

Final Opinion: Of the two I do personally prefer the toast - but if you’re a big fan of resinous gourmands give this one a spin for sure! Brooke’s notes are super high quality and fabulously aged - it makes her perfumes rich and smooth

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You can find Brooke and her creations (all done for the forces of good*) here at B. Perry Studios https://www.etsy.com/shop/bperrystudios

You can find a sample pack containing samples of all five of the "Toast" scents in the Sucreabeille Indie Marketplace at this [ link right here ]

You can find full sizes of A Snoball's Chance (In Hell) [ at this link ] and full sizes of The Devil's Lettuce [ at this link ].

*Except, technically, for The Devil's Lettuce

Roasts and Toasts: Day 2 - Libertine Bath Haus presents Vanilla Bourbon Smoked Coffee vs Saturday Morning Cartoons with a Hangover

I left the balcony where I had tried my first pair of scents in a contemplative mood.  This experiment, this gentlefolk’s challenge, was going to be more of a thought exercise than I had expected. Experiencing two versions, a mirrored vision of a concept, through scent was a deeply evocative way to understand someone’s experiences. There is a frightening amount of artistry involved in creating a truly awful scent.

The map guiding me to my next destination had me follow a curious series of left turns. Logically, I ought to have been going in circles but each room was different: an indoor garden resembling a forest; a library with a small model ship floating in a miniature wave pool in the center; an empty theater where at the edge of my hearing I could perceive a soft, tinkling laughter; a room that appeared entirely like the interior of a barn - complete with windows on either side that appeared to gaze into an idyllic countryside; a long, dark hallway lined with sideboards set with wineglasses filled to varying degrees with clear water.

I tried to make sense of the arrangement of the rooms on the map - but the map seemed to shift, slide, and swim beneath my gaze.

Eventually I came upon a room that was inhabited. It was a smoking room, soft with the scent of aged tobacco. Leaning over a billiards table, measuring her shot, was Jenn of Libertine Bath Haus. She wore a tweed blazer over a white blouse, with a slim black tie, and dark high waisted trousers. Her long hair swept wildly around her face and her fingers glittered with jewels.

“You finally made it,” she said. Her cue hit one of the balls with a satisfying ‘thock’ sound.

“Did the ghost in the theater hold you up at all?” she asked.

“There’s a ghost in the theater?” I asked, recalling the laughter.

“Oh yes, it’s quite haunted. We’re not sure who she's the ghost is of - but she is known to lead visitors on merry chases. Sometimes they get lost for weeks. I’m really beginning to feel it's a bit of an inconvenience.”

“Anyway,” she said straightening, smiling and clasping her hands together “You’re here for the scents! I have two odors here representing a Saturday morning. My ‘toast’ is a Saturday morning in a fine, upscale coffee shop where you’ve slipped a bit of hair of the dog into your morning brew.”

She winked.

“My roast is a very similar scent, but with added elements of ‘a searing headache’, ‘cereal drenched in sugar’, and ‘screaming children’.”

Below, my fine readers, are my notes on these two scents...

The Toast

Vanilla Bourbon Smoked Coffee

In the bottle: Just as an FYI I am trying this one in oil form - but from LBH It’ll be available in body spray form. They apparently will smell identical once dried down, but I’m not sure how well the bottle-smells will match up. I’m including this section for science.
Ultra rich, smooth, dark roasted coffee with a splash of gourmand-toffee scent and an undercurrent of dark leather (a note I recall from the official notes) and woody booze (the scent’s name says ‘bourbon’ so I suspect this is bourbon.)

Wet on my skin: Candied-toffee smoky vanilla, thick dark coffee, something that reminds me of sticky-tobacco (though, I distinctly recall the official notes not mentioning tobacco), dark leather and sweet-woody bourbon.
What’s interesting is something is blending in here to almost smell like dark, smooth cola. I really like it. It reminds me of an ultra fancy mixed drink from the rum-and-cola family served at a fancy bar that also serves coffee and cigars. All the upholstery is leather in this theoretical bar.
The scent lives in that exact border realm between masculine and feminine - it could be the scent of a gentleman who’s also a bit of a fop, or a hard-femme lady with short, swept back hair, tattoos, and a slinky black evening gown.

Drydown: Topnotes of a buttery, almost-toffee like scent. Not as strong as it was when it was wet. It’s backed by leather, vanilla, coffee and soft smoke. The coffee and leather blend together really softly in a way that smells well… like real leather. Like a leather jacket a barista works in.
 Below that is a hint of sticky, rich tobacco smell. At the base is that thick woody-boozy scent. It’s very similar to how it was wet, but more blended and more smooth. The word ‘smooth’ and the word ‘rich’ are both keynotes for this scent. Perhaps ‘decadent’ ought to go in there too.
After 30 mins: Very stable to the drydown. Very solid throw on it too - even in oil form I was getting whiffs of this from  over a foot away from the application point.

Official Notes: Creamy smooth smoked vanilla, the remnants of last night’s bourbon, sandalwood, a soft leather chaise and freshly smoked espresso beans
Yup, get the vanilla, bourbon, leather and coffee. I will note there is something in here that’s a little medicinal/herbal that I was flagging as tobacco. I don’t know if there’s an unlisted note or if I’m just reading another note as that. With the sandalwood, if I sniff the scent enough I can get something a little smooth and resinous, and a touch earthy in there - but it doesn’t dominate the scent by any means.
Very rich, soft, decadent, smokey and buttery. I’d say this lives somewhere between gourmand and atmospheric. The coffee and leather blend together so, so well. It’s also worth mentioning that there is nothing acrid or ‘rough’ about this leather. Just silky smooth glossy leather.

Final Opinion: This one is so nostalgic for me in a way I can’t place. It smells a little like the leather sofa I have in my living room, but also like somewhere else I’ve been that I can’t put a name to. I love how it treads the line between masculine and feminine, I love how rich it is. I love how it’s got a definite ‘gourmand’ feeling to it without going extremely sweet.
Great for people looking for a more masculine gourmand or for people who like gourmands that are a little sweet and very rich without going heavily sugared. Reminds me in some hard to articulate way of Sixteen92’s Party at the Moon Tower. I think it’s the ratio of sweetness to atmospherics - as well as the overall way the scent is balanced with a tiny kick of earthiness at the end.

The Roast

Saturday Morning Cartoons with a Hangover

In the bottle: The first thing that hits you is the cereal, which stands out like a sore thumb next to that decadent vanilla. It smells like Cap’n Crunch and Froot Loops had an unholy baby… because directly behind the cereal there’s a wave of just… acid. It reminds me of when you’re hung over and eating something and you throw up into your mouth a little bit
The artificial fruit smell lingers. Nothing in nature smells like this.This “fruit” note was concocted in a laboratory so that they can claim sugar soaked corn is a breakfast food. I’m sure the original food scientist proclaimed it ‘fruit adjacent’.
So. I just had a boo boo. A terrible boo boo. I set down my (closed) bottle of this scent without realizing I hadn’t closed it tight enough. There is now a spot on the duvet I set the bottle on that is drizzled with this perfume. Uh oh.
Behind the fruit and bile is something floral - like a… jasmine? Like a controversial jasmine that’s pleasant to some people and screechy to others. It keeps waffling between ‘screech - lemon highlighter ‘ and ‘hm, jasmine, nice’ to my now.
Under all of this are the buttery, dark, rich notes of the untainted version of the scent.

Wet on my skin:  There’s a moment - just a brief moment - where this smells kind of nice. Then everything - everything - that’s in the untainted version of the scent dies back except for the vanilla and I’m left with:

• Jasmine that very badly wants to go screechy
• A baby wipe - possibly a really artificial smelling ylang
• Just kind of ambiguous citrus. Like just sort of ‘ho hum’ citric acid. The type that goes in floor cleaner. This is shifts between ‘bland citrus’ and ‘stomach acid’ depending on the individual sniff.
• Sugary cereal flavored with fake fruit.

And I’m someone with skin that white florals treat nice. I tend to amp their sweeter tones - I’m positive on a certain chunk of the population this jasmine or whatever this is would not play nice. If it’s verging on screechy on me that means with a less white-floral friendly skin it would probably go all cat-piss-highlighter. As it stands it dances on the edge of cat-piss-highlighter for me.
I can see, like a sailor gazing on a distant shore, a pretty white floral that could include a version of these notes carefully tempered. They’re not being tempered here.
On the spot where it spilt some on the duvet it’s mostly just sugary artificially ‘frooty’ cereal which I am taking as a positive.

Drydown: Of all the R & T scents I’ve tried so far this is the one that ‘develops’ the most the more I wear it. In the drydown something metallic and skunky comes through. That’s when this perfume goes from being ‘Oh, weirdly unbalanced with some gross elements’ to ‘Oh, my God that is nasty’. This bears virtually no resemblance at this point to the toast scent.
This smells like you woke up after a long night of partying, went to go eat cereal through a throbbing headache, then proceeded to barf up the cereal with just a tiny hint of booze into a trashcan that a skunk’s been sleeping under.
Good news though: spot cleaning the duvet seems to have washed some of this out, or at least reduced the odor.  I can’t get it to a washing machine at this point in time, unfortunately.

After 30 mins:  Vomit, faint booze, skunk, trashcan. Now that this has dried down it’s gone stable except maybe getting even more sweet-cereal-vomit and more metallic.
Official Notes: The same luxuriant notes from the toast... with some extra bourbon, Froot Loops, Cap’n Crunch, Rice Krispies, and a searing headache.
Yup. Dead on. I maybe got a little less of the Rice Krispies. The ‘searing headache’ accord must be the vomit-in-a-metal-trashcan.
There’s more nuance in there: whispers of floor cleaner and I’m now getting just a touch of the jasmine again. But this is honestly so hard to smell - painful, and nausea and headache inducing - that taking a deep whiff to analyze it is something I’m not really hot on doing.

Final Opinion: This was possibly the most insidious perfume I’ve encountered so far. It starts out so mild. I even was all like ‘Oh, I could see this being wearable for someone who deeply loves sugary cereal’.
Also, since it initially seemed so benign I was not careful with it and will now have to wash a duvet.
Props to Jenn for this level of nasal trickery. You got me. 

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You can find Jenn and her creations (all of these done for the forces of good) at libertinebathhaus.com

You can find a sample pack containing samples of all five of the "Toast" scents in the Sucreabeille Indie Marketplace at this [ link right here ]

You can find full sizes of Vanilla Bourbon Smoked Coffee [ at this link here ]

Roasts & Toasts: Day 1 - Deconstructing Eden presents La La Land vs. City of Night

For those joining us anew, please allow me to reiterate the tale of the Gentlefolk’s Challenge issued by Andrea of Sucreabeille and her five fine companions. I was guided by means most extraordinary to Sucreabeille’s private island perfume laboratory. Once on the premises I was challenged by five perfume houses to smell five foul perfumes to earn the right to sample five divine perfumes.

After the challenge was issued I, of course, accepted. I could hardly say no to such a fantastical call to adventure! The five perfume house owners smiled wickedly then dispersed throughout the laboratory’s many rooms. Apparently each scent pair needed to be sampled in isolation. I was provided with a map that would guide me through my journey…

… The room which contained the first challenge was not, per se, a room. It was a balcony garden that protruded from a cliffside. Below the waves of the Pacific crashed into the island’s mighty rocks. ( Quite curious that we were so high up - given that until the exact moment of emerging onto this balcony all of the laboratory’s facilities appeared to be located deep underground).

Leaning against the railing of the balcony, wearing a tuxedo, was Toni of Deconstructing Eden. She gazed pensively at the horizon.

“You know, it’s quite impossible but I like to imagine I can see it from here,” she said.
“See what?” I inquired.

“The City of Angels. My home. My love.”

I remained silent. Other than my trip to this island I’d never before ventured to the North American west coast.

Toni stood up straight.

“Los Angeles is a harsh mistress. During the day she’s a glowing city of light and laughter but at night…” Here Toni smiled mirthlessly.

“I present to you my perfume pair, “ she said “ The first is City of Night - I’m actually kind of proud of it. It took a lot of work to accurately capture the exact character of what an L.A. back alley dumpster smells like. Don’t put it directly on your skin - it’s unlikely to easily wash off.
The second scent is La La Land. It’s designed to capture the portion of the character of the city that’s easy to love.”

Below, dear reader, are my notes on the pair of scents…

The Toast:

La La Land

In the bottle: Deconstructing Eden’s Spray EDP samples are locked safely away in a sample bottle I can’t figure out how to get open! Thankfully Toni was kind enough to also provide me with a wand sample of the scent. While every part of this review after this section will be done with the spray EDP by necessity this section will be sniffing the lil wand bottle I have of this.

Bright, fizzing wine. I recall this having a champagne note and this is the most realistic champagne note I think I’ve ever smelled. Tiny bit of citrus followed by an even smaller bit of ultra mellow green. Base of the scent is a golden resin with some creaminess. I think I also recall this having cashmere and tonka? I don’t get any strongly ‘tonka’ vibes from this but I could see it adding to the creaminess of that resin.

Wet on my skin: Bright, ultra realistic champagne and wow, there’s that tonka. The champagne is ultra sweet and smooth. Tiny edge of citrus - not getting as much of that mellow green. Still has that golden resin base. Golden, sweet, bubbly, and a little acidic.

Drydown/After 30 mins: Since this is an EDP and they dry so fast I’m combining these two sections.

Anyway, once this dries down the deeper, muskier odors (i.e. the soft musk of the cashmere) in the scent come forward. The champagne is still there but not as dominant. Sweetness from within the scent has come forward that is the tiniest bit powder,y in a candy way - but that’s often how cashmere notes go. It gives the scent a tiny bit of a candied vibe (though none of the fruit notes in it smell unrealistic). The tonka and cashmere make up the bulk of the scent… and I think there might be sandalwood in here too? If I’m recalling the notes correctly? The golden resin makes up the base of the scent.

Wears stable and strong and a little closer to the skin than I’m used to with EDPs. I still got occasional whiffs of it at arm's length while it was on, but the strong scent cloud started a couple of inches from my hand. 

Official Notes: Orange flowers and raspberries floating in champagne, on a table of sandalwood, bamboo, and amber, wrapped in tonka bean and cashmere with a squeeze of citron peel.

So I remembered a lot of these notes! But not the raspberries or orange flowers lol. The raspberries are adding some of that ‘sweetness’ that gives the ultra realistic champagne an almost muscadine quality. The orange flowers are probably contributing to that sweetness and the citrus smell too, and with the words in front of me I can get that tiny hint of floral at the edges. The bulk of the citrus edge is coming from the citron peel though.

The bamboo is that ultra mellow green - and it mostly rounds out that character of the scent without standing out from the blend. The standouts in here are the tonka and cashmere - which give the scent a soft muskiness at its core. The amber and the sandalwood give the scent a firm, golden-resin base.

Final Opinion: I remembered a lot of notes from this! This scent was particularly exciting to me out of the Roasts and Toasts batch because I love golden scents and this is (indeed) very golden and I (indeed) enjoyed it thoroughly. I’d characterize it as a soft-musky fruity-boozy resin scent with tiny citrus and floral nuances. Really exciting and unique! I’d say this scent would be a standout for fans of bright, laughing scents like Deep Midnight’s Light Court, Sucreabeille’s Serpent’s Brew, or Sugar Milk’s Amethyst soap. A perfect scent for a late summer evening.  

I’ve never been to L.A., so I don’t know how well this scent reflects the ‘positive’ qualities of the city… but I can say that this scent intrigues me about what the best of L.A. is like.

The Roast

City of Night

I was warned not to put this directly on my skin - so instead what I’m doing for this review is taking a cotton ball, rubbing it on my face and arms so that it (hopefully) resembles my skin chemistry and using that.

In the bottle: The first wave of scent is a glassy, cloying sweetness that - well, look, it isn’t a great smell but it also isn’t awful. Right on the tail end of that is something ultra, ultra earthy. At first it reminds me of a very, very bitter patchouli but then the taste hits my mouth. You know when you bite into a burnt vegetable? It tastes like that.

And that is just the first sniff.

On the second sniff comes a wave of chemical smelling nastiness. It reminds me of nail polish remover. Below that is a smell like old urine. All animalistic ammonia. Just from opening the bottle a tiny bit has gotten on my thumb and forefinger and it smells like I’ve plunged my whole hand into a compost heap.

Wet on the cotton ball: Well, there is an almost pretty glassy note at the top and then burning, acrid, rotting earthiness. Like have you ever smelled a flower that’s a stink flower? It smells like that. I think it’s some aged, developed kind of indole thing because it’s like between:

A stinky flower.

A stinky fishtank.

And a stick of bubblegum.

Right below that is an animalistic buttstink. I’m going to Get Real MTV style for a second here. One of my dogs, despite not being small, occasionally has anal gland problems and she needs to have them expressed by the vet when she does. This smells like the stuff that comes out of her anal glands does.

There is also just a soupcon of old, stale urine smell - like a portapotty.

Drydown: There is about 0.5 seconds when I first smell this where it doesn’t smell bad. Just kind of like a sweet flower. And then, laughing like Jabba the Hutt the rest of the scent rolls in.

This is probably what Jabba the Hutt actually smells like.

So you get cloying sweetness followed by the smell of old wine beginning to go to vinegar rapidly chased by rotting trash-can smell. Right after that the taste of burnt vegetables drizzled with acetone hits your tongue. It’s all wreathed in animalistic buttstink and that touch of old urine.

It’s literally nauseating. And, of course, it has the throw - which smells like old, wilted flowers and animal butt and can be smelled from two feet away.

After 30 mins: The sweet, cloying smell has gotten more sweet, more cloying, and more urine like. The earthy, burning tasting scent is dying back some but there’s still a strong streak of animal buttstink (hurr hurr hurr). I smells like a portapotty that got a raccoon trapped in it with a couple of old bottles of white wine that’s gone off.

Official Notes: Burning magazine pages, asphalt, urine, and feces under a crystal night sky.

Well, I can see the burning magazine pages as the ‘burnt to a crisp vegetables coated with acetone’, the asphalt is probably that really earthy note in there - it kind of reminds me of a well used ash tray, now that I think about it. The urine is definitely there for a subtle portapotty vibe and the feces must be the animal buttstink. The crystal night sky must be what, when assaulted by the other ingredients in this hellscent, smells like old white wine and wilting flowers.

Final Opinion: Do not ever, EVER get on the bad side of Toni from Deconstructing Eden. This is what she cooks up for a ‘friendly challenge’ folks. This is a scent she sent to someone she likes. Her genius for perfume concoction is one that can be used for good or for evil and I fear that I’ve encountered just the beginning of what’s she’s capable of when she puts her mind to it.

---

You can find Toni and her creations (all of these done for the forces of good) at deconstructingeden.net

You can find a sample pack containing samples of all five of the "Toast" scents in the Sucreabeille Indie Marketplace at this [ link right here ]

You can find single samples and full sizes of La La Land [ at this link here ]

Introducing - Roasts & Toasts!

Some of you have already heard my account of that fateful adventure in which I was issued a Gentlefolk’s Challenge. I’m sure you have questions! And I’m sure those of you just tuning in have even more questions.

It’s time for some answers.

The TL;DR Version of what’s going on:

• This is a collaborative release of a collection of 5 perfumes between me and 5 perfume houses! In addition, each perfume has a dark counterpart which I'll be roasting. ;)
• There’s going to be five sets of two reviews on SNEEF (sneefnow.com) posted 8/28-8/31
• Sucreabeille’s FB group is hosting giveaways on EACH of these days (buck wild, I know)
• The five ‘Toast’ scents will be available in a sample pack from Sucreabeille’s Indie Marketplace. Three perfumes, a body spray, and a tea candle!
• The five ‘Toast’ scents will also be available in full size from each of the houses involved in the event. Check below for the scents and their notes!

The Full Q&A. The whole shebang. The full monty:


Q: Okay, so what is “Roasts and Toasts”?
A: Five perfume houses gave me two pairs of scents - one of which to ‘Roast’ and the other to ‘Toast’. The ‘Roast’ scents are purposefully bad - and the ‘Toast’ scents were all five houses aiming for a grand slam out of the park.

Q: … But how can you be sure the Toast scents all are ones that would get good reviews? Five scents where you like all of them?
A: We actually built in a safeguard for this! It’s a collaboration so I checked all five scents to make sure they were ones I’d want to rave about and to let the houses know if the scents needed any tweaking to get excellent reviews. It ended up that none of them needed any tweaks. These guys were on their A-game.

Q: So, what kinda scents are these?
A: That was up to the houses! We settled on a broad theme of ‘roasted/toasted’ scents - all of the scents have elements of a ‘roast’ (or in one case a “baked”) or a ‘toast’ (both in the traditional sense and the alcohol one).

Q: So what are the five pairs and their notes?
A: 

• From Sucreabeille:
  Cup of Ambition ( Toasted marshmallow, three kinds of coffee, dark chocolate. )
  vs. Cup of Desperation ( The same coffee drenched in gasoline and whiskey. )
• From Deconstructing Eden:
  LaLa Land ( Orange flowers and raspberries floating in champagne, on a table of sandalwood, bamboo, and amber, wrapped in tonka bean and cashmere with a squeeze of citron peel. )
  vs. City of Night ( Burning magazine pages, asphalt, urine, and feces under a crystal night sky. )
• From Libertine Bath Haus:
  Vanilla Bourbon Smoked Coffee ( Creamy smooth smoked vanilla, the remnants of last night’s bourbon, sandalwood, a soft leather chaise and freshly smoked espresso beans. )
  vs. Saturday Morning Cartoons with a Hangover ( The same luxuriant notes from the toast... with some extra bourbon, Froot Loops, Cap’n Crunch, Rice Krispies, and a searing headache. )
• From B. Perry Studios:
  A Snoball’s Chance (In Hell) ( Devil’s food cake piped with cream cheese icing, wrapped in homemade raspberry marshmallow then tossed in coconut. )
  vs. The Devil’s Lettuce ( A Snoball's Chance In Hell, reeking of patchouli oil, burning incense, and marijuana smoke .)
• From Sihaya and Co:
  A Good Day with the Baby ( Toasted vanilla puff treats, lavender shampoo, baby-powder scented lotion, and marshmallow sweet baby giggles. )
   vs. A Bad Day With the Baby ( The fungal remnants of the bottle you forgot in the bottom of the travel bag, spit-up on your shirt, several stinky diaper blowouts and a screaming child that warrants about a gallon of coffee - once freshly roasted, now cold and stale. )

Q: Oh cool! So where can I read the reviews for these scents?
A: These reviews will all be going up exclusively on SNEEF (sneefnow.com). I’ll be linking to the official post all over the place on facebook. But you wanna make sure that you keep an eye on Sucreabeille’s facebook group in particular because there’s gonna be giveaways there on each of the days that a review pair goes up.

Q: You mentioned giveaways. What’s the deal with those?
A: There will be an official daily ‘post’ on Sucreabeille’s facebook group [ link - join now! ] linking to the review set for that day and explaining that day’s giveaway!

Q: I must have these scents. Where can I get them?
A: A sample pack of the five ‘Toast’ scents will be available on Sucreabeille’s Indie Marketplace. Also, each house will have full sizes available of each scent on their individual web pages.

The ‘Roast’ scents, alas, are scents for me alone to “enjoy” with the exception of The Devil’s Lettuce because Brooke is a pusher and wants everyone to get hooked on (the smell of) pot. That one will be available on the B. Perry Studios website.

Q: When does all this launch? I want IN, my dude!
A: Everything will be ready to go on Wednesday August 28th 2019!

Q: Okay, so, this answers a lot of my questions - but what was the deal with that whole Jules Verne style adventure story?
A: I am taken aback that you think my account of my visit to Sucreabeille’s private island laboratory is a mere work of fiction. I assure you that my accuracy of the events is unparalleled! And that is not the end - nay, my review sets will each feature a portion of the account of the rest of that adventure...

GIVEAWAY! Join the SNEEF FB group and enter our g i v e a w a y

So! I’ve racked up a number of press samples and I have a few that … didn’t work for me or DID work for me and I upsized. Normally I’d swap off or sell samples I don’t want anymore but I wouldn’t feel right about doing that with press samples.

Thus I am doing a GIVEAWAY.

How it works:

• I will be giving away SIX prizes - check below to see what they are!.
• The winners will pay exact shipping + 1$ to cover the packing materials. I only ship to the US.
• To enter - comment on this post [ >>>>LINK<<<< ] on the SNEEF FB group [ >>>>LINK<<<< ] with a 1-2 sentence recommendation of a perfume you don’t think gets enough love! While this giveaway will be shared elsewhere ONLY the entries on the SNEEF FB group will count.
• Entries are open from >>> 2P.M. EST August 23rd 2019 - 2:30 PM EST August 26th 2019 <<<. Entries from outside of this time period will not count.
• One entry per person.
• The winner will be chosen randomly via a random selection website TBD.
• While this will be a Scout’s Honor type thing - I would really appreciate if you win that you ‘pay it forward’ some by posting reviews of the perfumes you get from your blindbag. Post ‘em on IMAM, your blog, or Sucreabeille’s forum (or really, anywhere that indie perfumes are reviewed).

THE PRIZES:

There will be one grand prize not-so-blind bag. This grand prize will contain:

• 1 1oz EDP of Compass Rose from Sucreabeille
• 1 mystery Sucreabeille dram
• 6 mystery 1ml samples

There will be FIVE other prizes available. These prizes are BLIND BAGS and will be truly blind - I’m going to pack them before starting the giveaway - the contents in terms of bottle sizes will be identical. They will contain:

• 1 mystery 10ml bottle of a Sucreabeille perfume
• 1 dram of a Sucreabeille perfume
• 6 mystery 1ml samples from a variety of houses

There are some important caveats here:

• The shipping on the grand prize will be higher than the other packs since it will contain an EDP which needs to be shipped ground!
• Aside from that one EDP all scents are oils.
• Some may have damaged labels. I apologise in advance - I’m a splasher.
• Fill levels will vary some - especially on the 1mls. They’ll be more than sniffies though. Most have only had one application.
• There will be a sheet in each bag covering what’s in the bag and the houses and notes of the perfumes

The winners will be announced MONDAY on the SNEEF FB group along with another very special announcement.

A list of the scents in the pool (not all will be given away at this time but these are all of the pool of potentials):

Sucreabeille: Chloroform, Belladonna, God Grant Me The Confidence Of An Average White Man, Venom, Wormwood, Mango Tree, Pear Tree, Passionfruit Vine, Peach Tree, Coconut Palm, Apricot Tree

Stereoplasm: World’s Fair 1893, Eye of the Sahara, Mothman, Ozark Howler, Ogopgo, Two Sparrows, Red Dagger, Fire, Earth, Air, The Sky Is Falling, Jellybones, Caesura, Sunday Morning, Early Reflections, 303, Grieve in Stereo.

Nui Cobalt: Feu Follet, Ellegua, Naiad, Vila, Oshun, Indie Mood, Indie Mood: Liv, Indie Mood Giulia, Mourning Dove, Copper Fox, Black Squirrel, Flying Squirrel, Northern Cardinal.

Little & Grim: Bachelor’s Grove, Footfalls, Mourning Joe, Tell-Tale, House of Usher, Necromancy, Selenomancy, Botanomancy, Tasseomancy, Cartomancy.

Andromeda’s Curse: Strength, Call of the Void, Poetry Ribbon, Tea Ceremony, Firefly Hollow, Suwanee, Lichen, Patisserie, Coin-Operated Boy

6 Stereoplasm Reviews: Unicornis ( Unicorn ) + Kerberos + Phoînix ( Phoenix ) + Ambystoma Mexicanum ( Axolotl ) + Greyhound + Bombus Pensylvanicus ( American Bumblebee)

In their recent update Stereoplasm clarified that the animal-of-the-month scents would be available for purchase in September! Huzzah! As such, I figured it would be time to get the reviews up for the remainder of the animal scents I've gotten from them!

The perfumes covered in today's review are:

• Unicornis ( Unicorn )
• Kerberos
• Phoînix ( Phoenix)
• Ambystoma Mexicanum ( Axolotl )
• Greyhound*
• Bombus Pensylvanicus ( American Bumblebee )

None of these scents are up yet - but here's a link to Stereoplasm's store front [ link ]

Methods

All perfumes in this review were allowed to rest for several days ( a few weeks for these scents) after arrival. The perfumes were kept in the dark in a plastic box if small enough. If too large for a box they generally sit on top of a bookcase or bedside table, or inside of a drawer. I did crack them open to sniff them directly after arrival, and with a couple to do an initial test. The reviews are not based off of these initial impressions - though if a rest did change the smell I’ll note that.

I’m doing a half-hour skin test with each perfume. They are always applied to skin that has either been washed or hasn’t had perfume on it that day. Sometimes I will run one scent on one wrist/hand/arm and the other on the other wrist/hand/arm. When I wash my hands for review purposes I wash with Dove sensitive skin, or almond Doc Bronner’s.

Before doing test periods I often wear or play with other scents in my collection (that I wash off). I also am often wearing scented lotion on my feet and ankles (that I do not wash off). Sometimes I wear scented hair products simultaneously. Theoretically there could be cross-contamination.

For oils: Each sample was gently swirled before application. Then applied directly to skin - typically the top of my arm or the back of my hand.

Each review is written without looking at the notes in that moment. Frequently I will glance at a perfume’s notes beforehand. At the end of the review I will list what the official notes are and comment on how I think they interacted.

Bottle Review

You can see my bottle review for Stereoplasm's 2mls [ here ].

I will note that I'm still having label difficulties - I store these bottles upright, in a box, next to each other and the small amount of friction from that has damaged the ink on several of these and gummed the plastic on another. Several people have suggested wrapping the bottles in plastic tape - but I'd rather not as I like keep the option to swap/resell bottles and want to keep them in the condition I got them in if at all possible.

Even though I had ink peel off - none of these labels smeared with normal use while reviewing them.

A reminder: Each nose is different and each skin’s chemistry is different. Your mileage may vary.

Unicornis ( Unicorn )

In the bottle: PINK. Slightly fruity. I remember this having a ‘sugared diamonds’ note and that’s coming forward as a kind of glass or very clear water note. There’s a touch of sugar in here but it’s a kind of dry, subdued sugar. Kind of musky?

Wet on my skin: I recall this having a pink suede note and that’s what’s coming forward right now. Soft pink sueded leather that reminds me of toy horses I had as a kid (I think the suede is what I was reading as musky in the bottle). A sparkling sugar note (similar to the kind of sugar in the cream soda accord in First Bloom). And PINK I don’t know what that PINK is - I think vanilla is a part of it along with a fruity floral thing. It kinda reminds me of berries. There’s also that glassy-watery note. Like a fancy berry-lime sparkling water with a hint of tea rose.

Drydown: Very similar to how it was wet. This one is quite stable.

After 30 mins: Still smelling glassy or like very clear, slightly sparkling water. Still got that berry-lime kinda smell. Still very stable. Shimmery.

Official Notes: Holy ambrosia, pink suede and sugared diamonds.

Ah, this is ambrosia not in the midwestern food sense (as in Stereoplasm's Sucreaplasm) but in the sense of ‘mythical drink of the gods’. Which in this case is fancy berry-lime fizzy water to my nose (maybe with a little honey - that might be what I was reading as musky). This is a really fun scent!

Verdict: A gourmand I really like in that it doesn’t smell much like food you’re about to eat but a really great mixed drink or a fancy fizzy water that comes in a glass bottle. I like this one a surprising amount. It’s punky, it’s sparkling, it reminds me of my glittery pink dice. If I get through my 2ml and if this is up store when I do I’ll probably upsize.

Phoînix ( Phoenix )

I remember this having a stone note and then a … copal or dragon’s blood note? Some sort of fiery resin.

In the bottle: Ah yes, that’s Stereoplasm’s dragon’s blood note - I recognize it from Cozy Starling. Stereoplasm’s dragon’s blood is musky and less sweet than I’m used to with dragon’s blood - it’s almost like a red, spicy-musky amber instead of the kind of Dr. Pepper smell that dragon’s blood usually evokes.

Anyway, the first note I get is the musky dragon’s blood followed by a sweet smell. I can’t tell if it’s a sweet resin or a sweet floral. At the base is something softly ozonic that reminds me more of cinders than stone.

Wet on my skin: Spicy! The topnotes are what smells like a spiced neroli - very creamy and golden-red. Under that is the musky dragon’s blood (the musk-like component in Stereoplasm’s dragon’s blood actually does remind me of the musk of my cockatiel’s skin, so, this actually smells kind of like a bird). Smoke and ozone at the base along with something kind of dusty-cool that I have to assume is the ‘stone’ note.

Drydown: The sweetness in this is very, very creamy. It reminds me of the cream-neroli combo in Stereoplasm’s Nemesis. It borders right between gourmand and floral - not so gourmand that you smell like food, but definitely sweeter than most flowers. Under that you have that bird-musk smelling dragon’s blood. And beneath that the dusty-ozone note that reminds me of stone. Less spice overall, and less smoke overall than it had wet.

After 30 mins: The ozonic-dusty smell of the stone has come further forward in the scent - I’m smelling it more on the top now. A little less sweet. Otherwise pretty much the same as the drydown.

Official Notes: Dragon's Blood, crumbling stone, copal, charred oak.

So, the dragon’s blood is the dragon’s blood. The crumbling stone is the ozone/dusty smell. The ‘cinders’ and smoke smells must be coming from the charred oak.The copal must be what’s bringing the sweetness - but it reminds me strongly of the cream/neroli combo in Nemesis.

Verdict: I’m agonizingly torn on this one because I love it. Adore it. It’s probably my favorite of the animal scents but it also is similar enough in character to Nemesis that I’m debating if I need to upgrade my 2ml to something bigger. If I didn’t already own Nemesis I’d probably upgrade this in a heartbeat when it becomes available.

Kerberos

In the bottle: A Michael’s craft store in the fall right when they’ve just put out the Halloween decorations and you’re in the silk flowers aisle. Kind of a floral-water note along with a slightly fruity note (I remember this having pomegranate in it because, well, y’know… Kerberos). Touch of spice I remember being listed as ginger.

Wet on my skin: Ginger comes way forward with a bit of a baked note to it. Edges of fruit and floral-water.

Drydown: The dark-floral-water note comes forward. I dunno what floral this is but it’s kinda got a night-blooming dark vibe. Fruity nuances but nothing that screams HEY THAT’S A POMEGRANATE. The base of this perfume is a baked-goods-ginger smell. While I like the water note I’m not too into this ginger cookie. I mean, it does smell like a kinda musky ginger cookie but it’s just not my thing.

After 30 mins: Dark floral water is now as the edges and that pomegranate has finally come forward. The musky ginger cookie is sitting at the base still.

Official Notes: snapping ginger, forbidden pomegranate, and River Styx.

I assume ‘snapping ginger’ is a ginger snap cookie, pomegranate is pomegranate, and the River Styx is that dark-floral-water.

I really like the River Styx accord in this. It’s dark! It smells like water! It’s haunting and otherworldly! I’m cool with the pomegranate. But man, that snapping ginger is not my thing. It smells just like those ultra dry hard as a rock gingersnap cookies from the grocery store (minus a lil of the sweetness, and a lil more musky).

Verdict: Swap. Just not my thing.

Ambystoma Mexicanum ( Axolotl )

In the bottle: Cinnamon cake with cream cheese icing! This is a really mouth-watering cake gourmand.

Wet on my skin: Cinnamon cake with cream cheese icing. Maybe some toasted almond-y nuances? Moist and buttery smelling.

Drydown: Really amping the icing and the cinnamon. The cake itself is a little drier smelling that it was. Like it now smells like a baked cake that hasn’t been cut into instead of a moist slice right in front of me. A smidge almondy but not strongly so.

After 30 mins: Toasted almond is more forward and the cake accord is a little less realistic and slightly more perfume-y. The icing has died back to basically just a slightly cream-cheese-y sugar smell. I want to emphasize that it’s not a bad perfume-y. It just smells like an artistic interpretation of cake instead of hyper realistic cake. Almost like there’s a touch of a floral note somewhere.

Official Notes: Fresh torta de ceilo: Fluffy yellow almond cake topped with powdered sugar and a splash of spiced brandy.

Yup, I get almond cake with powdered sugar. I dunno where I was getting the cream cheese unless that’s how my brain was reading the brandy or there’s an unlisted cream cheese note. But I definitely got it. I think the sweet, non-cake smell I was like ‘almost floral’ with was the brandy.

Pretty strong scent with a decent throw.

Verdict: Swap? Maybe? I can’t see upsizing this. It’s a perfectly good cake gourmand but personally I’m just not wild about it. It’s right on that line between keeping and clearing out of my collection.

Greyhound

In the interest of full transparency: I suggested this as an animal scent to Meaghan! I love Greyhounds. We have a 10 year old retired racer that is The Best Boy. They’re great dogs with a long history and I think make for a great perfume option. If I remember right this scent is a combination of citrus, Earl Grey tea, and dirty paw prints. :)

In the bottle: Bright, fragrant citrus with a bit of tea sharpness. Something kind of windy/misty in there too. There may have been an additional note I forgot.

Wet on my skin: Smooth tea swirled with crisp citrus. Still getting that windy/misty note - it’s a little reminiscent of clean clothes without going strongly ‘detergent’ smelling. The scent has a warmth to it. At the base I think I’m getting a tiny edge of that dirt kind of mellowing things out - but it’s more of a dry dirt than a mud.

Drydown: It’s wearing kind of faint on me. I get a bit of citrus, some tea, and soft ozone. Maybe the tiniest hint of dirt. Like, I can smell it if I get close but it isn’t amping on me. This would make for a nice linens scent though. Funnily, for a scent with a dirt note it doesn’t smell dirty at all - more like laundry drying outdoors on a breezy day while you drink a cup of Earl Grey tea with a couple of those gummy orange candies on the side.

After 30 mins: Pretty much just like it was in the drydown. I think the dirt note might be blending some with the citrus some to create that ‘citrus gummy candy’ effect.

Official Notes: Earl Grey tea, Energetic citrus, sweet syclamen and quick pawprints in soft dirt.

Ah! There was a note I forgot… and the dirt was a soft dirt instead of mud. I have no idea what syclamen smells like, but that might adding that ‘breezy/misty/clean’ vibe (that, or the ‘quick’ part of the ‘quick’ pawprints is a breezy note).

Verdict: I’ll be keeping my sample, but probably not upsizing. I do wish it wore more strongly on me. Where I like it the best is when it’s wet on my skin. I think for tea lovers and people who like soft, non-acrid, clean/breezy scents this one will be a big hit if it wears well with their skin chemistry.

Bombus Pensylvanicus (Bumblebee)

I recall this has a pollen note? I think? And I expect it has a honey one.

In the bottle: Golden, herbal-spicy-green flowers. Reminds me of the smell of a fresh picked dandelion. A bit of sharp, floral sweetness and dustiness. Bright, floral, and a little spicy-green.

Wet on my skin: Fresh, bright tart dandelion complete with greens. Sunny-warm - not sure what’s giving it that sort of character. Something in there that’s silky and soft- reminds me of linen curtains flapping in a breeze. There’s a tiny touch of soft powder that must be that pollen note.

Drydown: Very stable to how it was wet. The overwhelming impression for me is ‘DANDELIONS’. Like a big field of ‘em. I wish I had more to describe but it’s morphed like 0%.

After 30 mins: A little less green and a little bit more kind of… musky-dandelion-floral. A little creamy with some sweetness (honey maybe?) poking through. Still spicy with green edges though.

Official Notes: Foxglove Nectar, Red Clover, Dusty Pollen, and a hint of spiced honey.

The red clover dominates this scent with just like, a kiss of foxglove nectar and pollen. The honey I didn’t get any of until the deep drydown - but I did get the spices. The honey is more sort-of-musky than sugar-sweet. With the words ‘red clover’ in front of me I can totally see it - but it also, does, kinda smell like dandelions. The green wasn’t painful to me, but it was quite pungent.

Verdict: Not my thing. For someone looking for a more herbal/wild smelling floral that’s not too sweet and keeps a green character throughout with hints of more traditional florals, pollen, and a teeny tiny musky bit of honey this would be a hit. Swap for me.

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*The Latin text on the Greyhound bottle ( stultus apparuit postquam elevatus ) is from a proverb (proverbs 30) in the bible that famously contains an allusion to greyhounds. Some websites (including google translate!) incorrectly translate this as the latin phrase meaning greyhound! In fact this is translating the line in the psalm after the one that mentions greyhounds in some translations.

The quoted Latin line is Proverbs 30:32 and greyhounds are mentioned in the King James Version in Proverbs 30:31. The direct translation of the Latin from Proverbs 30:32 is " If you have been foolish in exalting yourself" . I have 0 clue why so many websites say this means greyhound - but it doesn't. The line that gets translated as mentioning greyhounds (Proverbs 30:31) reads: " gallus succinctus lumbos; et aries; nec est rex, qui resistat ei." which the KJV bible translates as " A greyhound; an he goat also; And a king, against whom there is no rising up"

(You can check the translation for yourself - here's the Latin for the bible verse, and the English. Just compare line 30:31 and 30:32 in English [ link ] and Latin [ link ].)

I only know this crud because A) I did Latin in high school/college and know that 'stultus' is where the word 'stupid' comes from and I was thrown for a loop when I saw it on the greyhound scent, and B) I'm a giant greyhound nerd and know they're the only dog breed mentioned in the bible (in some versions).

I did a bunch of research and there are just... a ton of websites giving the incorrect translation... which can be checked against the bible where the line is from (as linked above). What is the Latin term for greyhound then? There isn't one, precisely. The Romans grouped the greyhounds, deerhounds, and wolfhounds they encountered in Britain all together and called them something that translates to 'celt hounds'. The scientific name for greyhounds is the same as all the rest of dogdom - canis lupus familiaris.

I bring all this up because I mentioned it to Meaghan and I have no idea what the official name of the scent will be when it goes up for sale since she likes to use the scientific name of animals. All of this is here so (hopefully) these reviews will show up no matter what name people search for the greyhound scent under. I know this is a really long explanation so thank you for bearing with me in my dog/Latin nerd moment.