A Winter's Ball Day 2: Two Dances with Darcy from Poesie

And we're on to day number two of A Winter's Ball. Enter our leading Gentleman, Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. And before we go any further let's address the elephant in the room: Fitzwilliam. It's like... also the name of his cousin? And what does Elizabeth call him when they're alone? Or does everyone just pretend his first name doesn't exist?

Ahem.

So today's scent is Two Dances with Darcy by Poesie. It aims big: to capture the sexual tension, frustration (you can tell they both really, really want to have that argument), longing, infatuation and puns all in one perfume.

This perfume got several days of rest - somewhere between three days and a week. Poesie's 5ML packaging looks nice - professional. The 5ml metal rollerball has had no leaks even when stored in weird positions but does dispense oil generously when used on skin.

Two Dances with Darcy by Poesie

In the bottle:  Earthy-spicy topnotes layered over sweet darkness. At the top - I’m not sure how to describe the notes as anything other than ‘masculine’, ‘spicy’ and ‘earthy-dark’. Under that is a bit of dark, musky sweetness - maybe myrrh? Or myrrh with black musk?  And at the edges of that? Leather and resin.  Dark, creamy, sweet and (dare I say it) kinda sexy.

Wet on my skin: Still spicy at the top but now I’m getting some citrus in there. It’s quite sweet - orange blossoms maybe? Beneath the bright citrus is the bottle scent - all musky-resinous, dark and rich. Very smooth.

It kind of reminds me of how a hot, dark, slightly musky dude drinking Grand Marnier would smell like.  Rich and dark but that citrus also takes it a bit Christmassy.

Drydown: All right. Let’s figure this out. I’m gonna take a stab at notes - which will probably be wrong but...

At the top spiced orange liqueur and vanilla. Beneath that I’m getting myrrh, patchouli, and black musk with an edge of leather.  The smell is very stable to how it went on wet - still rich, masculine, dark and smooth with bright orange notes at the top taking it into Christmas territory.

After 30 mins: Still wearing quite strong and stable! A bunch of the orange has died back at this point (though it’s still there) but the rest of the scent is stable to how it went on.

Mild throw with strong scent cloud starting 3-4 inches from the application site.

Official Notes: A splash of her lavender water, a hint of his Regency cologne and pipe tobacco, the polished dance floor, flushed skin, and is that...the perfect pear?

As predicted, my note guesses are entirely off.

So, the lavender water I can totally see with it mentioned in front of me. It’s the ‘spice’ in there. A very balanced sweet-and-herbal lavender. The pear is what I was reading as citrus. The Regency cologne must be what smells dark, musky, and masculine (still gonna guess myrrh and black musk being involved here at some point). The ‘smooth/alcoholic/resin’ smell must be the ‘polished dance floor’. The pipe tobacco is what I was reading as patchouli - which, like… I can totally see now.  The flushed skin must be adding some of those musky qualities.

Verdict: I like a scent with pipe tobacco??? What??? If I’d gotten this in a sample size it might not have been an upsize for me, though it would have been a keeper (mostly it’s masculine-fancy enough that I couldn’t see myself wearing it regularly enough to justify the purchase). But I’ll be keeping my 5ml to whip out when I wanna smell like I’m here to break hearts and brood.

You can get this scent as part of the A Winter's Ball set found [ here ]! The set is on the pricey side (it's a luxury box!). However! Sucreabeille is also running a sale right now (11/25/19) and this would push you up into some of the higher tiers all on its own... so you'd get a box of lovelies and a bunch of other swag along with it.

You can also buy this scent solo from Poesie [ here ] if you just want it alone!

A Winter's Ball: Day 1 - Lizzy's Fine Dark Eyes from Sucreabeille

So! Day 1 of A Winter's Ball. We start with our heroine, Elizabeth Bennett.  Of all the features that caught (and held) the enigmatic Mr. Darcy's attention it was her eyes that captivated him initially.  So often in our culture we hear praises sung of light colored eyes - hazel, green, blue and even sometimes grey - but it's unfortunately kind of rare to hear the beauty of dark eyes discussed.

Elizabeth's eyes are special because they show her soul, her wit, her intelligence and her strength. And they're famously a beautiful rich dark color.

For this review I'm going to do things a bit differently -  y'all know my methods and my opinions on Suc's drams can be found in my archives. So, I'm gonna cover the relevant different bits up here: I rested this dram for roughly a week and I think the packaging on this is lovely!

Lizzy’s Fine Dark Eyes (Sucreabeille)

In the bottle:  Ginger. Sparkling, crystal ginger. A lot of the time ginger in indie perfumes is not recognizable to me - it lacks the bit of sharpness real ginger is and falls a little flat. This is beautiful, sharp, fresh ginger. Behind the ginger are some uh… other things? They’re harder to pick out. A spray of florals? Bergamot? Hard to tell. Amber base I think.

Wet on my skin: Ginger is more muted but still there, still quite fresh.  Layered over what’s definitely florals (they also smell fresh), something sweet (honey maybe?), and a tiny touch of bitterness that screams ‘bergamot’ to me. Resinous base that’s either a wood or an amber - golden in color.

Feminine (but not overly so), refined smelling, somewhat traditional in terms of perfumery - but lots of shimmering golds, soft whites, and smooth browns.  Appropriate given the subject matter.

Drydown:  The ginger is back - still not as strong as in the bottle, but it’s definitely the first thing I get when I sniff this. Behind it is the… flower or bitter citrus. Something along those lines. Touch of sweetness and then that resin. Wears strong on the skin with the scent cloud starting about 3 inches away.

After 30 mins: Still wearing about the same as the drydown. Sparkling ginger, floral/bitter citrus type smell, bit of sweetness, and resin.  Dry, sweet, mature (but not old - just ‘grown up), elegant and feminine.

Very mild throw, scent cloud is the same as is described in the drydown.

Official Notes: Orchids and chamomile blend with lavender, ylang ylang and hyssop. Peach blossom, sandalwood, and sparkling aldehyde bring lift and depth.

I am deeply, deeply shocked this doesn’t have ginger in it. What? W H A T? It smells exactly like ginger.

SO I’m guessing the ‘ginger’ is the aldehyde, chamomile, hyssop and lavender. The floral/bitter citrus smell I’m gonna guess is the orchid/peach blossom. The sweetness is probably the ylang ylang since they can go so sweet. The resin at the base is the sandalwood.

Verdict: Okay, so, I really like how this one smells but I don’t think I’ll personally upsize from the dram because it’s a smidge too feminine for me. It’s probably the most ‘refined’ scent I’ve tried from Sucreabeille to date though - and would be very wearable in an upscale workplace or at events. Also - ginger fans - this smells like real, honest to God, ginger.

You can get this scent as part of the A Winter's Ball set found [ here ]! The set is on the pricey side (it's a luxury box!). However! Sucreabeille is also running a sale right now (11/25/19) and this would push you up into some of the higher tiers all on its own... so you'd get a box of lovelies and a bunch of other swag along with it.

A Winter's Ball: Announcement!

Those of you who are loyal SNEEF readers will remember the Big To Do over Roasts and Toasts where I did a review a day for a week for a group released I'd collabed on...

And I'm here to share: We're at it again folks.

That's right - I (very mildly) collabed on A Winter's Ball and now I am the hype train for it. Choo choo.

So, for this collab I participated in:

• Helping come up with the idea and theme for it.
• Watching the talented makers come to a consensus on doing it.
• Mentioning what notes were not my thing. 
• I'm gonna be telling y'all what it smells like with the same level of fidelity and honesty I apply to other reviews. (But, TBH everything I've given an initial sniff to has seemed legit so far).

We didn't do any sort of approval process, nor did I suggest notes for use. I did beg for a scent called A Truth Universally Acknowledged (which I got).

Anyway! It's a luxury Pride and Prejudice themed scent set. There's also two makeup pieces in there (a lip tint and a shimmer blush) that I will not be reviewing because, man, I don't wear makeup and my reviews would be like 'Hm... this sure is... a colored thing you put on your skin'. But they look pretty in the swatches!

So this weekend I watched the A&E Pride and Prejudice (it's up on Hulu if any of y'all wanna (re)live through Colin Firth in a wet shirt) for research and now I'm embarking on daily reviews of these products for the next week! Every day from now 'till Saturday expect a new daily review! These reviews will be exclusively on the blog... though I will be linking the posts around to various places.

At the end of it all I'll do a roundup post like I did with Roasts and Toasts.

You can buy the Winter's Ball set at Suc's Indie Marketplace [ link ] and you can get individual pieces from the various retailers participating. 

Roasts and Toasts - Roundup

Roasts and Toasts was a blast - and now that we're done I wanted to gather everything together in an easy-to-peruse round-up post. As part of the er, 'experience' I framed the review sets (one roast perfume, and one toast perfume) in a narrative about my totally real and not at all fictional trip to Sucreabeille's private island laboratory. I might have had some Jules Verne on the brain when I decided on how to recount this adventure.

So without further adieu:

( Full reviews, writing, explanations etc behind the relevant links )

S/O to Sucreabeille for providing this image upon special request

THE TEASER [ LINK]

Recently I found upon my doorstep a curious envelope sealed with the finest, sparkliest wax. Inlaid in the wax was the familiar mark of a bee.

I opened it and within was a letter issuing a curious summons to a set of geographical coordinates and a plane ticket to a small island off the Pacific coast which shall not be named for reasons that may soon become apparent...

THE ANNOUNCEMENT [ LINK ]

Some of you have already heard my account of that fateful adventure in which I was issued a Gentlefolk’s Challenge. I’m sure you have questions! And I’m sure those of you just tuning in have even more questions.

It’s time for some answers...

DAY ONE: DECONSTRUCTING EDEN PRESENTS LA LA LAND VS CITY OF NIGHT [ LINK ]

A set of contrasts themed around the city of Los Angeles

- La La Land: Orange flowers and raspberries floating in champagne, on a table of sandalwood, bamboo, and amber, wrapped in tonka bean and cashmere with a squeeze of citron peel.

vs

- City of Night: Burning magazine pages, asphalt, urine, and feces under a crystal night sky.

DAY TWO: LIBERTINE BATH HAUS PRESENTS VANILLA BOURBON SMOKED COFFEE VS. SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS WITH A HANGOVER [ LINK ]

A set of contrasts about Saturday mornings after a night of debauchery:

- Vanilla Bourbon Smoked Coffee: Creamy smooth smoked vanilla, the remnants of last night’s bourbon, sandalwood, a soft leather chaise and freshly smoked espresso beans.

vs.

- Saturday Morning Cartoons with a Hangover: The same luxuriant notes from the toast... with some extra bourbon, Froot Loops, Cap’n Crunch, Rice Krispies, and a searing headache.

DAY THREE: B. PERRY STUDIOS PRESENTS A SNOBALL'S CHANCE ( IN HELL) VS. THE DEVIL'S LETTUCE [ LINK ]

A take on ... two senses of "baked" . The first is a decadent, straight gourmand the second is that gourmand "baked" in a very different way...

- A Snoball’s Chance (In Hell) : Devil’s food cake piped with cream cheese icing, wrapped in homemade raspberry marshmallow then tossed in coconut.

vs.

- The Devil’s Lettuce : A Snoball's Chance ( In Hell ), reeking of patchouli oil, burning incense, and marijuana smoke.

DAY FOUR: SUCREABEILLE PRESENTS CUP OF AMBITION VS CUP OF DESPERATION [ LINK ]

A contrast on two different cuppas.

Cup of Ambition : Toasted marshmallow, three kinds of coffee, dark chocolate.

vs.

Cup of Desperation: The same coffee drenched in gasoline and whiskey.

DAY FIVE: SIHAYA AND COMPANY PRESENTS A GOOD DAY WITH THE BABY VS. A BAD DAY WITH THE BABY [ LINK]

A contrast in two different child care days...

A Good Day with the Baby: Toasted vanilla puff treats, lavender shampoo, baby-powder scented lotion, and marshmallow sweet baby giggles.

vs.

A Bad Day With the Baby : The fungal remnants of the bottle you forgot in the bottom of the travel bag, spit-up on your shirt, several stinky diaper blowouts and a screaming child that warrants about a gallon of coffee - once freshly roasted, now cold and stale.

---

I also want to take a moment to say thank-you to all of you following along with Roasts and Toasts. This has been a huge blast. I want to thank Andrea of Sucreabeille for organizing this (it was a huge undertaking!), and Brooke of B. Perry Studios, Chris of Sihaya and Company, Toni of Deconstructing Eden, and Jenn of Libertine Bath Haus for all participating. This took a ton of work from them coming up with new scents and getting samples to me on a deadline. We did this all in about a month and a half y'all!

Roasts and Toasts Day 5: Sihaya and Co. presents A Good Day with the Baby vs A Bad Day with the Baby

With Andrea’s words in mind I set out on the fifth, and final leg of my journey. I exited the diner through a back door and began an upward ascent. This seemed to be a “straight” shot to the surface. However, it involved no less than three climbing walls, two escalators, and a paternoster. Once on the surface of the island I was greeted by a small collection of charming cottages - the laboratory’s guest quarters.

I wound my way through the cottages. Each one had a garden overflowing a fresh flowers out of a perfumer’s dream: lilac, lavender, roses of all kinds, tulips, heliotrope, delicate narcissus, orchids, blooming cherry, peach, apple, orange and magnolia trees. These are merely the ones I could name at a glance. The flowers seemed to be thriving irrespective of season, temperature zone, or time of day.

One cottage, set slightly back into the pacific northwest forest, was my destination. The flower beds on this one were slightly abated to make room for great, bubbling cauldrons of shimmering wax. I knocked on the door of the cottage and it opened on silent hinges.

Inside, lounging on a plush couch before a roaring hearth was Chris of Sihaya and Company bedecked in a diaphanous nightgown. In her hand was a tall flute of champagne. She tilted the champagne at me in acknowledgement.

“Welcome to your final Roast and Toast!” she said, “I imagine it’s been quite the journey to get here”.

“Just in this last leg there were two climbing walls! You don’t think you’re out of shape until you hit that second climbing wall,” I said and flopped into an overstuffed chair.

“ Oh, if you turn your map over it’s got the direct routes. We thought you were taking the scenic ones on purpose.”

I stared at her for a long moment then very slowly took out my map, unfolded it, and turned it over. There was indeed, a set of very direct routes that I had completely failed to notice somehow. I groaned and smacked my forehead.

“Well! You’re here now. And being tired is actually for the better,” she said, “ You see my two scents are based on A Good Day with the Baby vs A Bad Day with the Baby.  While the roast is, er, everything you’d expect the toast is the most relaxing set of scents I could get my hands on. … They’re candles though, so make sure you light the roast scent, er, outdoors.”

She tilted her champagne glass at a small tray with two large candles on it sitting on a table between us. I took the candles, a book of matches and proceeded to conduct my final two reviews.

My notes on these are below…

This is my first time reviewing candles - so, forgive me if my method here is not as refined as it is for perfume oils! For both candles I reviewed them outdoors - so odors might not be as pronounced as they would be in a house.

The Toast

A Good Day With the Baby

Unlit: Toasty, nutty-sweet note (I think I remember it being marshmallow?)  and skin musk wreathed in florals with a touch of powder at the edges. Deeply comforting. Like a cuddle in candle form. I think I recall the floral in here being lavender - but it’s an ultra sweet, ultra soft lavender. Like on the lavender spectrum you have ‘medicinal’ on one end and this one on the other end. I feel like I’m getting a tiny kiss of citrus in here at the edges.

Freshly lit: One thing about reviewing a candle that I hadn’t considered was that along with the odor of the wax itself there’s notes of the wick, a tiny bit of smoke, the warm wax and of course the flame. I feel very silly for not realizing this sooner and I’m sitting here like ‘oh my god this opens up a whole new world of fragrance possibilities’.
Anyway, freshly lit (about 2-5 minutes of burning, enough to get the wax melting) I’m getting clouds of warm, nutty toasted marshmallow, skin musk, and citrus. The floral is a pale whisper at the edges offering a hint of relaxing sleepy-time mellowness. Occasionally there will be a swirl of milky, vanilla tinged powder.  You know how boyfriend candles are a thing? This is a cuddle candle that you put on during your most intensely needed self-care bath.
The flame on the candle burns very well and doesn’t sputter. There is a small amount of smoke released from it - but nothing extraordinary.

After 20 Minutes: One thing I wasn’t expecting that happened is how much of a hypnotic experience it is to light a glittery candle on the back porch shortly after sundown. The flame flickers, the glitter shimmers, my eyes unfocus and time just kinda happens without me noticing it. I’m sure the relaxing, snuggly smell is facilitating it too.
Speaking of the smell - since I’m outdoors it hasn’t formed a thick cloud, but there definitely is a detectable cloud around me. It’s very similar to how the candly smelled freshly lit - toasty marshmallows, skin musk, vanilla with edges of powder, citrus, and probably-lavender-floral. Deep in the scent there’s something a tiny, tiny bit minty.

Official Notes: Toasted vanilla puff treats, lavender shampoo, baby powder scented lotion, and marshmallow-sweet baby giggles.
So, the toasted vanilla is the vanilla note, the lavender is the floral, the shampoo must be giving me that citrus vibe, the baby powder is the powder. The scented lotion is probably what’s reminding me of skin musk and is a eensy bit minty - it’s a gentle, creamy, soft note. The marshmallow-sweet baby giggles must be the toasted marshmallow note.

Final Opinion: Uhg, I love this. This is an easy to love smell that would cruise right into a Lush or Bath and Body Works catalog ( albeit as one of the more unique, creative smells in said catalog). I can see this being a great candle to pick up for Self Care Night or to give as a gift at a baby shower… or to any friend who’s kiddo is getting older that find themselves missing that “new baby smell” everyone raves about.

The Roast

A Bad Day With the Baby

I recall this one has old coffee and uh… that other smell babies are famous for.

Unlit: So when I first got this I was like ‘That’s not that bad’ when I smelled it. It was mostly old coffee and something that reminded me of black musk. But apparently the air in this candle tin just needed a few days to… marinate. Because this is nasty. This is ‘cruise ship diarrhea’ nasty. The coffee barely factors in except to enhance the general muck. There’s an edge of like… saltiness or something too. Like sweat. Or tears.

Freshly Lit: As I watch the flickering flame play in the reflection of the maroon glitter I find myself wondering how something that looks so beautiful can smell so bad. This is like some perverse reverse Beauty and the Beast. Thankfully the first whiffs I’m getting at the old coffee. Which after that cloud of ‘someone dropped firecrackers in an outhouse’ is a relief. Maybe my nose is shutting down in self defense and I’m only getting the coffee. Maybe it’s Stockholm syndrome. ‘It’s just a bitter, dark coffee… maybe I kind of like this…” I mutter.
I can’t decide which would cause me to suffer more - the scent actually not stinking that much and having to spin comedy gold from it’s-basically-coffee straw, or it holding true to its nature.

After 5 minutes: About three minutes into the test one mosquito decides it is brave enough to enter the candle’s cloud. It flies around me aimlessly, unable to decide where I begin and the stench ends. I begin to question the wisdom of lighting a feces scented candle after dark. We’ve got coyotes and foxes and bears around here. Maybe they’ll think it’s an enemy, challenging their territory.
Alternatively it might scare away the groundhog that lives under our deck and drives our dogs to distraction. I find myself brightening at this idea.
The stink intensifies.

After 10 minutes: This candle and I are definitely in some sort of messed up relationship. ‘This isn’t nasty enough’ I think, ‘perhaps the glitter suspended in the wax is lessenting the surface area’. I swirl the candle around to spread the melted wax over the unmelted portion. There’s now a bigger pool for the melted wax to evaporate from.
The breeze switches direction so I’m downwind of the candle. A wave of ‘well used baby diaper’ assaults my senses. ‘Ah,’ I think ‘that’s more like it’.
This is the brown, glistening well where humor comes from.

After 20 minutes: It’s getting to be more… garbage can than baby diaper at this point. It reminds me a lot of the stink that comes from our large, outdoor garbage can that our city collects from weekly. In that garbage can you get a mingling of all the general rot that is removed from a household with the bags of dog feces my husband deposits in there after his walks.
The longer this candle is lit the worse it smells. It keeps teetering between a good amount of earthiness and that kind of ‘living thing’ indole (enough to be interesting - like ultra dark coffee or chocolate) and just… raw unfettered garbage can full of poo with a hint of old socks and vomit.
It’s a fascinating study in the volatility of aromachemicals. It just takes one downwind whiff to go from ‘Hm, what an interesting coffee scent’ to smelling like something a bobcat might spray on a tree to let other bobcats know it is nastiest bobcat in the woods.

Official Notes: The fungal remnants of the bottle you forgot in the bottom of the travel bag, spit-up on your shirt, several stinky diaper blowout and a screaming child that warrants about a gallon of coffee - once freshly roasted, now cold and stale.
I definitely can see the decaying food with a hint of sour milk, and the spit-up is probably giving it that certain… light-vomit quality. The diaper blowouts are obviously where that ‘I’m definitely sick with something’ poo smell is coming from. And that old, oversteeped coffee is definitely that very-black coffee note.

Final Opinion: Even now there are new odors coming from this candle. I just got one that smells very definitely more fungal! Charming! I think this is a… one of a kind candle that will soon be adding to the aforementioned bouquet of an outdoor trashcan where it’ll probably function as raccoon repellent.

---

You can find Chris and her creations (all of these done for the forces of good) at sihayaandcompany.com .

You can find a sample pack containing samples of all five of the "Toast" scents in the Sucreabeille Indie Marketplace at this [ link right here ] .

You can find single samples full sizes of A Good Day with the Baby [ at this link here ] .

---

For any wondering how my journey concluded: After finishing taking my notes upon the final review I emerged from the cabin to find all five of my hostesses gleefully awaiting me. I shook hands with each: I was inundated with apologies for the roasts - to which I waved a hand and assured them that the experience of the toasts was more than enough to offset whatever stinks the roasts delivered.

Andrea informed me that my boat was ready to return me to the mainland. I said my goodbyes which concluded in a group hug amongst the flowers. I was then blindfolded again and escorted to the beach where I arrived. There my blindfold came off. Andrea gave me one final hug and thanked me for taking part in this experiment. I thanked her for her generosity and tour of the facilities. I then boarded the small boat captained by the woman with a cascade of silver hair and set sail for the mainland and my next adventure...

Roasts and Toasts Day 4: Sucreabeille presents Cup of Ambition vs Cup of Desperation

After the breather provided by the third leg of my strange journey I was refreshed and, hopefully, ready for whatever challenge awaited me next.

The next portion of the journey, in terms of travel, was positively mundane. I merely had to wander through a series of back rooms that must comprise the warehouse of this lab. Mind you, their relative sizes and positionings were, of course, seemingly making use of non-Euclidean geometry to achieve the pathway they formed. But other than that… they were warehouses of all the sundry items needed to manufacture perfume and bath products.

Then I opened a door and was in… a diner. It looked timeless in construction - it could have been built any time between the 1940s and the present.  Two of the walls were lined with huge windows that gazed out into a dark countryside that was featureless apart from a straight stretch of highway, dim fields, power lines, and a sky alive with stars.

Behind the counter of this diner was Andrea of Sucreabeille. She wore a simple blue sleeveless dress that made one think it would be accompanied by pearls (she wore, however, no pearls). She smiled at me and bade me to sit down. I obliged and took a seat on one of the bar stools at the counter.

“I wanted to thank you for doing this,” she said.

“Don’t mention it,” I replied with a smile, “ It’s been all the adventure promised and more .”

“It’s been an adventure for us too, believe it or not,” she said, “I’m so pleased with the audacious bravery of everyone involved. Bad reviews are scary for us, you know? To us, you’re the lion we’re taming.”

I guffawed but she merely nodded.

“No! Really. For us this hasn’t just been about a bit of perfumer’s revenge (though I won’t lie - getting to be a bit evil is good for the constitution). It’s been about turning a weakness into a strength - after all, after you’ve gotten the worst review of your life all the others are going to seem pretty mild won’t they?”

I contemplated what she said. Yes, there was adventure in it for all parties involved. Both because, really, we were all here on this island that I was beginning to suspect had a high chance of turning out to be a Lovecraftian horror and because we were facing down the most terrifying beast of all: potentially awkward social interactions and hurt feelings.

“I can see in your eyes - you’re getting it,” she said, “ Which I suppose means we’re here at my turn.”

At this point she reached beneath the counter and produced two vials of perfume…
Below, reader, are my notes on these two scents:

The Toast

Cup of Ambition

In the bottle: I recall this has three coffees in it. With this knowledge I can kinda pick them out. One is a black, bitter, diner coffee. The kind of serious, no-nonsense coffee that you reach for at 6 A.M. (and then reach for the generous cream and sugar because that stuff packs a wallop). The second coffee is a chocolate-y mocha - rich and a little soft. One you order on cold days. The third coffee is one with a glassy edge and a kick to it that reminds me a little of the smell of gasoline - a sharp espresso. At the edges of the scent you get a sweet, creamy vanilla-like flavor. I think this is supposed to have toasted marshmallow in it? In the bottle it’s all vanilla-y.

Wet on my skin: That sharp coffee comes to the forefront and the creamy smell intensifies. This really does smell like coffee with cream and sugar in it. That sharp edge is there to wake you up - it’s like a cross between coffee, smoke, and gasoline. Under the sharp coffee is that smooth mocha and at the base is the ultra dark coffee. 

I don’t get much in the way of marshmallow that smells like… marshmallows. However, I’m sure the marshmallow note is where that creamy sweetness is coming from.

Drydown: As this dries down this scent moves from sharp to much more blended and mellow. The three coffees harmonize and the overall scent effect is that of a comforting diner. A ‘Tom’s Diner’ diner. There still is a little bit of a smokey sharp edge from that one coffee, but, it’s much reduced from where it was wet - just enough there to keep stuff interesting. I’d say of the three coffees the mocha dominates at this point.

That creamy, soft scent remains. You know what? It reminds me of tonka. It’s like a combination of a tonka and a marshmallow.

After 30 mins: About like it was during the drydown - the smell that reminds me of tonka is coming through more strongly but otherwise about the same.

Official Notes: Toasted marshmallow, three kinds of coffee, dark chocolate

I recalled most of these notes - but not the dark chocolate! I read it mostly as a mocha. Could this have… both mocha and dark chocolate? Is the dark chocolate adding that creamy sweetness that smells like tonka to me? Who knows! 

Mostly this scent is what is says on the tin - but with a little bit of unexpected smokiness/sharpness at the edges making it interesting. The marshmallow is a little less prominent than expected, and the chocolate blends with the coffee. This pretty much smells like a gloriously complexly-coffee-smelling coffee (reminds me of Starbucks) with a good dose of cream and sugar.

Final Opinion: Coffee lovers looking for a pure coffee experience with a bit of sweetness and an interesting edge… rejoice! This one is totally worth trying. Personally? I found this scent to be really comforting and reminiscent of safe, quiet coffee-smelling places... while at the same time maintaining a bit of an edge and complexity.

The Roast 

Cup of Desperation

In the bottle: This smells… strangely wearable? 

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not “normal” perfume. There’s a rolling cloud of whiskey, chocolate, and dark, dark coffee that comes out of this. There’s edges of gasoline. It’s much deeper than its companion scent.

It quite honestly smells like a truck stop you’ve pulled into at 4 A. M. because you must, must have coffee. Why does that truck stop smell like whiskey? Is that a question you want an answer to?

But in that same way this scent is so familiar it loops back around into the realm of ‘oddly comforting’. Like yes, it’s 4 A. M. middle-of-no-where gas station coffee… but who has not had that cup of coffee? For whom has that cup of coffee not been the best cup of coffee in the whole world when you get it?

Wet on my skin: Oh, that gasoline is coming through more - but this whole thing is blending really well in a curious way.  The atmospheric gasoline smooths and mellows the kind of espresso ‘bite’ of one of the coffees. The whiskey makes the chocolate in the mocha-coffee really glow with the whiskey itself playing a mildly boozy second fiddle to that gasoline. 

What’s really odd is the toasted marshmallow is really coming out in this. It’s creamy, it’s luscious. It smells like coffee that’s been drenched in as much hazelnut creamer as you can fit in the cup.

Maybe this Cup of Desperation smells less like a 4 A. M. truck stop, and more like you at 4:45 A.M. finally, red eyed, pulling into your destination surrounded by a haze of gasoline smell from your 14 hour drive and the gasoline you spilled on your shoes around an hour ago. You stagger inside and brew a cup of instant coffee, put in as much whiskey as you think you can get away with, and then top it off with hazelnut creamer to the brim.

Drydown: It’s still hard to describe this one. Like, coffee is a food smell, right? But it’s also an atmospheric. In Cup of Ambition the coffee is firmly gourmand with a bit of comforting-diner nostalgia. In Cup of Desperation we’ve moved over to a firmly atmospheric coffee. This smells more like a place that has coffee in it - perhaps even with a cup near you - than coffee itself, if that makes sense.

Topnotes of slightly chemical but strangely mellow gasoline and espresso. Midnotes of chocolate, mild coffee, and toasted-marshmallow-that-smelled-like-hazelnut-creamer. Base notes of whiskey and dark-as-night black coffee.

It’s Cup of Ambition but darker, edgier, and in a leather studded jacket. Cup of Ambition was sweet with an interesting edge - this is all edge with a bit of interesting sweet. It’s funny how the two scents reflect one another like that.

After 30 mins: As this wears a touch of grodiness does come out. But it’s kind of… nice grodiness?  It makes me feel like a post-apocolyptic biker chick from a Mad Max movie who’s gotta have her cuppa. I can see this not being for everyone - it’s chemical, it’s harsh, it’s bitter and kind of dirty feeling… but it’s all contrasted with that sweetness of the scent. 

I think what’s adding the dirty feeling is the chocolate having its earthy qualities brought out.

Aside from that kind of maturation the scent is very stable and wears super strong with a very solid throw on it.

Official Notes: The same coffee from Cup of Ambition drenched in gasoline and whiskey.

Yup, it’s all there folks! What is says on the tin. 

Final Opinion: I actually like this one better than the Toast (whoops). Uh… I guess I could roast Andrea for that? I came here for Stinks with a capital S! I expected bogs and swamps! I expected road-kill! I expected a prohibition-officer-in-the-20s-breaking-up-a-modern-frat-party levels of booze! And what did I get? An atmospheric I actually like! That will probably have a committed fan-base if it goes live! 

You did a bad job at doing a bad job - which… loops around to a good job? Because I do like this? I’m confusing myself at this point.

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You can find Andrea and her creations (all done for the forces of good) here at Sucreabeille. [ link! ]

You can find a sample pack containing samples of all five of the "Toast" scents in the Sucreabeille Indie Marketplace at this [ link right here ].

You can find single sample sizes and full sizes of Cup of Ambition here [ at this link ].

Roasts and Toasts Day 3: B. Perry Studios presents A Snoball's Chance (In Hell) vs. The Devil's Lettuce

Having learned my lesson from the second encounter in my gentlefolk’s challenge I embarked upon the third leg in this journey. The travel between rooms this time at first looked more uneventful: I stepped into a hallway that seemed quite ordinary apart from the fact that it curved just enough that I couldn’t make out the end. After five minutes of attempting to reach the end of this hallway, it became apparent that I was walking in what logic told me had to be a spiral.

The map was not helpful. I appeared to be walking in a section of it where someone had spilled their morning coffee. In the margins they’d written a helpful ‘go straight!’ with a small arrow pointing at the coffee stain.

I went on for some time. The hallway sometimes had an upward incline, sometimes a downward incline. It was featureless except for its lime green shag carpeting and seemingly infinite stream of framed photographs on the walls.

The photographs were in black and white and featured what appeared to be completely unique cats. Each cat sat looking quite solemn and wearing a cat-sized bow tie. Below each photograph was a small placard reading: “Exitus Acta Probat”.

The door came upon me so abruptly I walked into it. I carefully opened it. On the other side was a long dining room brightly lit by high, narrow windows.  Dominating the room was an equally long and narrow table laid out with a white dining cloth. Atop the table were chocolate cakes of every size and shape. In between them, artfully arranged, were decorative bits of greenery heavily featuring a familiar five-leafed plant.

Arranging some of these plants was Brooke of B. Perry Studios wearing a long red satin ballgown with matching elbow length gloves. She looked up as I walked in, smiled, and waved.

‘“Ah! My turn!” she exclaimed and hurried to a sideboard to fetch her two vials.

“I  know this ah, was supposed to be a challenge to disgust you. But I figured at the halfway point you might like something of a break” she said.

I nodded cautiously.

“The reality is I wanted to do a ‘baked’ scent for you. The most delicious chocolate cake for your toast and for your roast,” here she conspiratorially leaned forward, “ that same cake but laced with the scent of you know… Mary Jane. Wacky Tabacky. Sticky Icky. … The Devil’s Lettuce.”

“My ‘lettuce’ note has aged so wonderfully though! As I blended the scent just intrigued me more and before you know it, it was time for the Sucreabeille zeppelin to pick me up… You know how it is.”

“Well, I mean, I took an airplane,” I volunteered.

“Oh, yes, of course. The Pilot can be kind of jumpy around new people and you don’t want your zeppelin pilot to be jumpy,” she said thoughtfully, “In between runs they do get a tune-up in the clockwork workshop if you wanted to introduce yourself.”

“Anyway! Your scents!” she exclaimed, handing me the delicate silver tray upon which the two vials rested.

Below, constant reader, is my notes on the scents...

The Toast

A Snoball's Chance (In Hell)

In the bottle: Very, very mild - basically a little chocolate and a whiff of coconut. I know from trying this before that on skin it completely changes however.

Wet on my skin: Two words: Brownie. Batter. Brownie batter, coconut, and buttercream icing. Many batter/cake/dough accords don’t capture what makes baked good smell so appealing - sometimes they end up smelling more like a heliotrope centered scent than a gourmand… but this one gets it y’all. The chocolate is rich and a little smokey - slashed through with buttery, sugary notes. This is, to my nose, literally like picking up a bowl of brownie batter and sniffing it wreathed in almost floral coconut. There’s something kind of light in here that reminds me slightly of mint minus the sharpness - it’s hard to place. Like a bit of something herbal or floral off to the side from your luscious coconut and b r o w n i e batter. This one also, at least wet, has great throw… and if anything smells better in the throw than it does up close.

Drydown: A lot like it was wet. Still full of luscious, almost toasted chocolate and that complex quasi-floral coconut. That smell that kinda-reminds-me-of-mint (but it’s definitely not mint) is stronger and more smells that remind me of buttercream are coming forward. It smells now like that brownie batter’s been baked and is getting slathered with buttercream with a kind of cool tanginess to it and you’re getting ready to coat the top in coconut.

After 30 mins: Essentially identical to the dry down. Very, very stable scent.  Fairly good throw throughout too. The scent cloud starts a good 6-8 inches from where I applied it and I’ve been catching whiffs of it throughout.

Official Notes: Devil’s food cake piped with cream cheese icing, wrapped in homemade raspberry marshmallow then tossed in coconut
RASPBERRY that cool, tangy scent that kind of reminded me of mint is raspberry. I can totally see it now that it’s in front of me. Think of an almost herbal raspberry that’s cool and tangy and raspberry that’s the one used here. It’s not strongly fruity - just a tiny neuance to help make the scent interesting.
The devil’s food cake is the brownie batter scent. The cream cheese icing is the buttercream - which, with the words in front of me I can see. The marshmallow blends with the core of the scent, adding body and fullness to it. It reminds me a lot of a kind of tonka-creamyness. And of course, coconut is that glorious, complex almost floral coconut.

Final Opinion: I’m shocked I like a straight gourmand this much. Brooke is a mad genius. Every note here is rich, realistic, and very sweet without going into Smells Like a Donut Shop levels of sugar. The coconut and the raspberry here add a lot of complexity to the scent while the chocolate cake accord is shockingly realistic. Delicious.

The Roast

The Devil's Lettuce

In the bottle: Sweet chocolate and coconut with a bit of resinous/patchouli edge to it wreathed with a subtle whisper of smoke. I think there’s a tiny bit of green in here that’s quite honestly blending with the coconut. Very much like its companion scent but ‘edgier’. Like, ASC(IH) is this sent on the weekdays - but on the weekends it likes to kick back a bit, you know?

Wet on my skin: Oh wow, definitely more of that patchouli smell and more smoke - the smoke smells almost like incense. Just a kiss of that herbal green (an ultra smooth, non-skunky marijuana) melding with the coconut and raspberry-marshmallow. While the first scent is a very dignified, rich cake this one is absolutely several degrees more hippy. If the first scent is a decadent brownie-batter scented cake at a fancy party… this is that same cake being sold by the slice at an outdoor music festival by someone who just gave their name as ‘Moonbeam’. 

It smells happy, chill, and slightly outdoorsy in a spicy-green-herbal way. 

Drydown: The way this is blending the cake is a lot subtler.

So at the top I get spicy incense and spicy marijuana. Below that is COCONUT a lot of coconut. A big, sticky-sweet pile of coconut. Below that is the marshmallow with just like… a hint of raspberry I can barely make out. Then some chocolate that blends with an earthy patchouli. 

While ASC(IH) is a straight gourmand where you can revel in every part of the gourmand this is a resinous-herbal scent with gourmand nuances. Which, nothing wrong with that. I’m just surprised by how differently the two scents wear: For example the marshmallow sweetness in this, when it blends with the marijuana, almost reminds me of maple syrup! 

After 30 mins: Stable to the drydown. Maybe able to pick out a tiny bit more fruitiness from the raspberry.

Official Notes: A Snoball's Chance In Hell, reeking of patchouli oil, burning incense, and marijuana smoke

Yup. That about covers it. I wouldn’t say it’s reeking - but those are prominent notes in there!  It is pretty much what it says on the tin - though I would say that the way the patchouli and marijuana blend with the other scents in the perfume changes its character pretty distinctly. This is resinous, spicy, and slightly outdoorsy with a sweet-gourmand undercurrent.

Wears strong with very, very solid throw. 

Final Opinion: Of the two I do personally prefer the toast - but if you’re a big fan of resinous gourmands give this one a spin for sure! Brooke’s notes are super high quality and fabulously aged - it makes her perfumes rich and smooth

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You can find Brooke and her creations (all done for the forces of good*) here at B. Perry Studios https://www.etsy.com/shop/bperrystudios

You can find a sample pack containing samples of all five of the "Toast" scents in the Sucreabeille Indie Marketplace at this [ link right here ]

You can find full sizes of A Snoball's Chance (In Hell) [ at this link ] and full sizes of The Devil's Lettuce [ at this link ].

*Except, technically, for The Devil's Lettuce

Roasts and Toasts: Day 2 - Libertine Bath Haus presents Vanilla Bourbon Smoked Coffee vs Saturday Morning Cartoons with a Hangover

I left the balcony where I had tried my first pair of scents in a contemplative mood.  This experiment, this gentlefolk’s challenge, was going to be more of a thought exercise than I had expected. Experiencing two versions, a mirrored vision of a concept, through scent was a deeply evocative way to understand someone’s experiences. There is a frightening amount of artistry involved in creating a truly awful scent.

The map guiding me to my next destination had me follow a curious series of left turns. Logically, I ought to have been going in circles but each room was different: an indoor garden resembling a forest; a library with a small model ship floating in a miniature wave pool in the center; an empty theater where at the edge of my hearing I could perceive a soft, tinkling laughter; a room that appeared entirely like the interior of a barn - complete with windows on either side that appeared to gaze into an idyllic countryside; a long, dark hallway lined with sideboards set with wineglasses filled to varying degrees with clear water.

I tried to make sense of the arrangement of the rooms on the map - but the map seemed to shift, slide, and swim beneath my gaze.

Eventually I came upon a room that was inhabited. It was a smoking room, soft with the scent of aged tobacco. Leaning over a billiards table, measuring her shot, was Jenn of Libertine Bath Haus. She wore a tweed blazer over a white blouse, with a slim black tie, and dark high waisted trousers. Her long hair swept wildly around her face and her fingers glittered with jewels.

“You finally made it,” she said. Her cue hit one of the balls with a satisfying ‘thock’ sound.

“Did the ghost in the theater hold you up at all?” she asked.

“There’s a ghost in the theater?” I asked, recalling the laughter.

“Oh yes, it’s quite haunted. We’re not sure who she's the ghost is of - but she is known to lead visitors on merry chases. Sometimes they get lost for weeks. I’m really beginning to feel it's a bit of an inconvenience.”

“Anyway,” she said straightening, smiling and clasping her hands together “You’re here for the scents! I have two odors here representing a Saturday morning. My ‘toast’ is a Saturday morning in a fine, upscale coffee shop where you’ve slipped a bit of hair of the dog into your morning brew.”

She winked.

“My roast is a very similar scent, but with added elements of ‘a searing headache’, ‘cereal drenched in sugar’, and ‘screaming children’.”

Below, my fine readers, are my notes on these two scents...

The Toast

Vanilla Bourbon Smoked Coffee

In the bottle: Just as an FYI I am trying this one in oil form - but from LBH It’ll be available in body spray form. They apparently will smell identical once dried down, but I’m not sure how well the bottle-smells will match up. I’m including this section for science.
Ultra rich, smooth, dark roasted coffee with a splash of gourmand-toffee scent and an undercurrent of dark leather (a note I recall from the official notes) and woody booze (the scent’s name says ‘bourbon’ so I suspect this is bourbon.)

Wet on my skin: Candied-toffee smoky vanilla, thick dark coffee, something that reminds me of sticky-tobacco (though, I distinctly recall the official notes not mentioning tobacco), dark leather and sweet-woody bourbon.
What’s interesting is something is blending in here to almost smell like dark, smooth cola. I really like it. It reminds me of an ultra fancy mixed drink from the rum-and-cola family served at a fancy bar that also serves coffee and cigars. All the upholstery is leather in this theoretical bar.
The scent lives in that exact border realm between masculine and feminine - it could be the scent of a gentleman who’s also a bit of a fop, or a hard-femme lady with short, swept back hair, tattoos, and a slinky black evening gown.

Drydown: Topnotes of a buttery, almost-toffee like scent. Not as strong as it was when it was wet. It’s backed by leather, vanilla, coffee and soft smoke. The coffee and leather blend together really softly in a way that smells well… like real leather. Like a leather jacket a barista works in.
 Below that is a hint of sticky, rich tobacco smell. At the base is that thick woody-boozy scent. It’s very similar to how it was wet, but more blended and more smooth. The word ‘smooth’ and the word ‘rich’ are both keynotes for this scent. Perhaps ‘decadent’ ought to go in there too.
After 30 mins: Very stable to the drydown. Very solid throw on it too - even in oil form I was getting whiffs of this from  over a foot away from the application point.

Official Notes: Creamy smooth smoked vanilla, the remnants of last night’s bourbon, sandalwood, a soft leather chaise and freshly smoked espresso beans
Yup, get the vanilla, bourbon, leather and coffee. I will note there is something in here that’s a little medicinal/herbal that I was flagging as tobacco. I don’t know if there’s an unlisted note or if I’m just reading another note as that. With the sandalwood, if I sniff the scent enough I can get something a little smooth and resinous, and a touch earthy in there - but it doesn’t dominate the scent by any means.
Very rich, soft, decadent, smokey and buttery. I’d say this lives somewhere between gourmand and atmospheric. The coffee and leather blend together so, so well. It’s also worth mentioning that there is nothing acrid or ‘rough’ about this leather. Just silky smooth glossy leather.

Final Opinion: This one is so nostalgic for me in a way I can’t place. It smells a little like the leather sofa I have in my living room, but also like somewhere else I’ve been that I can’t put a name to. I love how it treads the line between masculine and feminine, I love how rich it is. I love how it’s got a definite ‘gourmand’ feeling to it without going extremely sweet.
Great for people looking for a more masculine gourmand or for people who like gourmands that are a little sweet and very rich without going heavily sugared. Reminds me in some hard to articulate way of Sixteen92’s Party at the Moon Tower. I think it’s the ratio of sweetness to atmospherics - as well as the overall way the scent is balanced with a tiny kick of earthiness at the end.

The Roast

Saturday Morning Cartoons with a Hangover

In the bottle: The first thing that hits you is the cereal, which stands out like a sore thumb next to that decadent vanilla. It smells like Cap’n Crunch and Froot Loops had an unholy baby… because directly behind the cereal there’s a wave of just… acid. It reminds me of when you’re hung over and eating something and you throw up into your mouth a little bit
The artificial fruit smell lingers. Nothing in nature smells like this.This “fruit” note was concocted in a laboratory so that they can claim sugar soaked corn is a breakfast food. I’m sure the original food scientist proclaimed it ‘fruit adjacent’.
So. I just had a boo boo. A terrible boo boo. I set down my (closed) bottle of this scent without realizing I hadn’t closed it tight enough. There is now a spot on the duvet I set the bottle on that is drizzled with this perfume. Uh oh.
Behind the fruit and bile is something floral - like a… jasmine? Like a controversial jasmine that’s pleasant to some people and screechy to others. It keeps waffling between ‘screech - lemon highlighter ‘ and ‘hm, jasmine, nice’ to my now.
Under all of this are the buttery, dark, rich notes of the untainted version of the scent.

Wet on my skin:  There’s a moment - just a brief moment - where this smells kind of nice. Then everything - everything - that’s in the untainted version of the scent dies back except for the vanilla and I’m left with:

• Jasmine that very badly wants to go screechy
• A baby wipe - possibly a really artificial smelling ylang
• Just kind of ambiguous citrus. Like just sort of ‘ho hum’ citric acid. The type that goes in floor cleaner. This is shifts between ‘bland citrus’ and ‘stomach acid’ depending on the individual sniff.
• Sugary cereal flavored with fake fruit.

And I’m someone with skin that white florals treat nice. I tend to amp their sweeter tones - I’m positive on a certain chunk of the population this jasmine or whatever this is would not play nice. If it’s verging on screechy on me that means with a less white-floral friendly skin it would probably go all cat-piss-highlighter. As it stands it dances on the edge of cat-piss-highlighter for me.
I can see, like a sailor gazing on a distant shore, a pretty white floral that could include a version of these notes carefully tempered. They’re not being tempered here.
On the spot where it spilt some on the duvet it’s mostly just sugary artificially ‘frooty’ cereal which I am taking as a positive.

Drydown: Of all the R & T scents I’ve tried so far this is the one that ‘develops’ the most the more I wear it. In the drydown something metallic and skunky comes through. That’s when this perfume goes from being ‘Oh, weirdly unbalanced with some gross elements’ to ‘Oh, my God that is nasty’. This bears virtually no resemblance at this point to the toast scent.
This smells like you woke up after a long night of partying, went to go eat cereal through a throbbing headache, then proceeded to barf up the cereal with just a tiny hint of booze into a trashcan that a skunk’s been sleeping under.
Good news though: spot cleaning the duvet seems to have washed some of this out, or at least reduced the odor.  I can’t get it to a washing machine at this point in time, unfortunately.

After 30 mins:  Vomit, faint booze, skunk, trashcan. Now that this has dried down it’s gone stable except maybe getting even more sweet-cereal-vomit and more metallic.
Official Notes: The same luxuriant notes from the toast... with some extra bourbon, Froot Loops, Cap’n Crunch, Rice Krispies, and a searing headache.
Yup. Dead on. I maybe got a little less of the Rice Krispies. The ‘searing headache’ accord must be the vomit-in-a-metal-trashcan.
There’s more nuance in there: whispers of floor cleaner and I’m now getting just a touch of the jasmine again. But this is honestly so hard to smell - painful, and nausea and headache inducing - that taking a deep whiff to analyze it is something I’m not really hot on doing.

Final Opinion: This was possibly the most insidious perfume I’ve encountered so far. It starts out so mild. I even was all like ‘Oh, I could see this being wearable for someone who deeply loves sugary cereal’.
Also, since it initially seemed so benign I was not careful with it and will now have to wash a duvet.
Props to Jenn for this level of nasal trickery. You got me. 

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You can find Jenn and her creations (all of these done for the forces of good) at libertinebathhaus.com

You can find a sample pack containing samples of all five of the "Toast" scents in the Sucreabeille Indie Marketplace at this [ link right here ]

You can find full sizes of Vanilla Bourbon Smoked Coffee [ at this link here ]

Roasts & Toasts: Day 1 - Deconstructing Eden presents La La Land vs. City of Night

For those joining us anew, please allow me to reiterate the tale of the Gentlefolk’s Challenge issued by Andrea of Sucreabeille and her five fine companions. I was guided by means most extraordinary to Sucreabeille’s private island perfume laboratory. Once on the premises I was challenged by five perfume houses to smell five foul perfumes to earn the right to sample five divine perfumes.

After the challenge was issued I, of course, accepted. I could hardly say no to such a fantastical call to adventure! The five perfume house owners smiled wickedly then dispersed throughout the laboratory’s many rooms. Apparently each scent pair needed to be sampled in isolation. I was provided with a map that would guide me through my journey…

… The room which contained the first challenge was not, per se, a room. It was a balcony garden that protruded from a cliffside. Below the waves of the Pacific crashed into the island’s mighty rocks. ( Quite curious that we were so high up - given that until the exact moment of emerging onto this balcony all of the laboratory’s facilities appeared to be located deep underground).

Leaning against the railing of the balcony, wearing a tuxedo, was Toni of Deconstructing Eden. She gazed pensively at the horizon.

“You know, it’s quite impossible but I like to imagine I can see it from here,” she said.
“See what?” I inquired.

“The City of Angels. My home. My love.”

I remained silent. Other than my trip to this island I’d never before ventured to the North American west coast.

Toni stood up straight.

“Los Angeles is a harsh mistress. During the day she’s a glowing city of light and laughter but at night…” Here Toni smiled mirthlessly.

“I present to you my perfume pair, “ she said “ The first is City of Night - I’m actually kind of proud of it. It took a lot of work to accurately capture the exact character of what an L.A. back alley dumpster smells like. Don’t put it directly on your skin - it’s unlikely to easily wash off.
The second scent is La La Land. It’s designed to capture the portion of the character of the city that’s easy to love.”

Below, dear reader, are my notes on the pair of scents…

The Toast:

La La Land

In the bottle: Deconstructing Eden’s Spray EDP samples are locked safely away in a sample bottle I can’t figure out how to get open! Thankfully Toni was kind enough to also provide me with a wand sample of the scent. While every part of this review after this section will be done with the spray EDP by necessity this section will be sniffing the lil wand bottle I have of this.

Bright, fizzing wine. I recall this having a champagne note and this is the most realistic champagne note I think I’ve ever smelled. Tiny bit of citrus followed by an even smaller bit of ultra mellow green. Base of the scent is a golden resin with some creaminess. I think I also recall this having cashmere and tonka? I don’t get any strongly ‘tonka’ vibes from this but I could see it adding to the creaminess of that resin.

Wet on my skin: Bright, ultra realistic champagne and wow, there’s that tonka. The champagne is ultra sweet and smooth. Tiny edge of citrus - not getting as much of that mellow green. Still has that golden resin base. Golden, sweet, bubbly, and a little acidic.

Drydown/After 30 mins: Since this is an EDP and they dry so fast I’m combining these two sections.

Anyway, once this dries down the deeper, muskier odors (i.e. the soft musk of the cashmere) in the scent come forward. The champagne is still there but not as dominant. Sweetness from within the scent has come forward that is the tiniest bit powder,y in a candy way - but that’s often how cashmere notes go. It gives the scent a tiny bit of a candied vibe (though none of the fruit notes in it smell unrealistic). The tonka and cashmere make up the bulk of the scent… and I think there might be sandalwood in here too? If I’m recalling the notes correctly? The golden resin makes up the base of the scent.

Wears stable and strong and a little closer to the skin than I’m used to with EDPs. I still got occasional whiffs of it at arm's length while it was on, but the strong scent cloud started a couple of inches from my hand. 

Official Notes: Orange flowers and raspberries floating in champagne, on a table of sandalwood, bamboo, and amber, wrapped in tonka bean and cashmere with a squeeze of citron peel.

So I remembered a lot of these notes! But not the raspberries or orange flowers lol. The raspberries are adding some of that ‘sweetness’ that gives the ultra realistic champagne an almost muscadine quality. The orange flowers are probably contributing to that sweetness and the citrus smell too, and with the words in front of me I can get that tiny hint of floral at the edges. The bulk of the citrus edge is coming from the citron peel though.

The bamboo is that ultra mellow green - and it mostly rounds out that character of the scent without standing out from the blend. The standouts in here are the tonka and cashmere - which give the scent a soft muskiness at its core. The amber and the sandalwood give the scent a firm, golden-resin base.

Final Opinion: I remembered a lot of notes from this! This scent was particularly exciting to me out of the Roasts and Toasts batch because I love golden scents and this is (indeed) very golden and I (indeed) enjoyed it thoroughly. I’d characterize it as a soft-musky fruity-boozy resin scent with tiny citrus and floral nuances. Really exciting and unique! I’d say this scent would be a standout for fans of bright, laughing scents like Deep Midnight’s Light Court, Sucreabeille’s Serpent’s Brew, or Sugar Milk’s Amethyst soap. A perfect scent for a late summer evening.  

I’ve never been to L.A., so I don’t know how well this scent reflects the ‘positive’ qualities of the city… but I can say that this scent intrigues me about what the best of L.A. is like.

The Roast

City of Night

I was warned not to put this directly on my skin - so instead what I’m doing for this review is taking a cotton ball, rubbing it on my face and arms so that it (hopefully) resembles my skin chemistry and using that.

In the bottle: The first wave of scent is a glassy, cloying sweetness that - well, look, it isn’t a great smell but it also isn’t awful. Right on the tail end of that is something ultra, ultra earthy. At first it reminds me of a very, very bitter patchouli but then the taste hits my mouth. You know when you bite into a burnt vegetable? It tastes like that.

And that is just the first sniff.

On the second sniff comes a wave of chemical smelling nastiness. It reminds me of nail polish remover. Below that is a smell like old urine. All animalistic ammonia. Just from opening the bottle a tiny bit has gotten on my thumb and forefinger and it smells like I’ve plunged my whole hand into a compost heap.

Wet on the cotton ball: Well, there is an almost pretty glassy note at the top and then burning, acrid, rotting earthiness. Like have you ever smelled a flower that’s a stink flower? It smells like that. I think it’s some aged, developed kind of indole thing because it’s like between:

A stinky flower.

A stinky fishtank.

And a stick of bubblegum.

Right below that is an animalistic buttstink. I’m going to Get Real MTV style for a second here. One of my dogs, despite not being small, occasionally has anal gland problems and she needs to have them expressed by the vet when she does. This smells like the stuff that comes out of her anal glands does.

There is also just a soupcon of old, stale urine smell - like a portapotty.

Drydown: There is about 0.5 seconds when I first smell this where it doesn’t smell bad. Just kind of like a sweet flower. And then, laughing like Jabba the Hutt the rest of the scent rolls in.

This is probably what Jabba the Hutt actually smells like.

So you get cloying sweetness followed by the smell of old wine beginning to go to vinegar rapidly chased by rotting trash-can smell. Right after that the taste of burnt vegetables drizzled with acetone hits your tongue. It’s all wreathed in animalistic buttstink and that touch of old urine.

It’s literally nauseating. And, of course, it has the throw - which smells like old, wilted flowers and animal butt and can be smelled from two feet away.

After 30 mins: The sweet, cloying smell has gotten more sweet, more cloying, and more urine like. The earthy, burning tasting scent is dying back some but there’s still a strong streak of animal buttstink (hurr hurr hurr). I smells like a portapotty that got a raccoon trapped in it with a couple of old bottles of white wine that’s gone off.

Official Notes: Burning magazine pages, asphalt, urine, and feces under a crystal night sky.

Well, I can see the burning magazine pages as the ‘burnt to a crisp vegetables coated with acetone’, the asphalt is probably that really earthy note in there - it kind of reminds me of a well used ash tray, now that I think about it. The urine is definitely there for a subtle portapotty vibe and the feces must be the animal buttstink. The crystal night sky must be what, when assaulted by the other ingredients in this hellscent, smells like old white wine and wilting flowers.

Final Opinion: Do not ever, EVER get on the bad side of Toni from Deconstructing Eden. This is what she cooks up for a ‘friendly challenge’ folks. This is a scent she sent to someone she likes. Her genius for perfume concoction is one that can be used for good or for evil and I fear that I’ve encountered just the beginning of what’s she’s capable of when she puts her mind to it.

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You can find Toni and her creations (all of these done for the forces of good) at deconstructingeden.net

You can find a sample pack containing samples of all five of the "Toast" scents in the Sucreabeille Indie Marketplace at this [ link right here ]

You can find single samples and full sizes of La La Land [ at this link here ]